I'll start with the mini-essays niels wrote me. *now now other commentors, I'll address you comments too* ;)

He says *this is only some of it*, " Yeah, there are people that do good out of selfishness, but why should a counsellor be one of the few? Why should he care more than anyone else? Because it is his job? Maybe. My uncle is a psychiatrist dealing with drug and alcohol addicts. You think he cares about his clients? He doesn't even care about his own family! Maybe they'll feel a bit sorry for you and then what? Is that really going to help you? I feel sorry for the crap you are in, does this help you though?"

When I say I want a counselor to care, I mean I want them to not only empathize but give me there best stuff. The empathy helps create a human connection. A connection that I really don't have with anyone besides Michelle and my online friends. The pity doesn't help but its nice to know that someone out there understands what your going through. Plus, when they really care, like for thier family, they give the best advice. When your just a number or case, there is this distance. I resent that distance. Things are going to have to drastically change if "heaven" is to work in the future. *given that there is a heaven* And its sad that we don't do more to create a harmonious and happy Earth. I mean, what if this is it? All this pain and for nothing. Sad if that is the case.

He also says, "enough is never enough and you have to go MONK to find true happyness so they say. Jesus said how can you be happy when you are a slave of your own desires? But can we really cast away our own desires? Shake them off and be free? Some monks and nons may claim so, but aren't desires part of our physiological being? The mind can be willing, but the flesh is weak. I guess that's the reason only Jesus can save you, because in the end we are all sinners. "

I agree that is probaly impossible to completely shake off physiological desires. I think happiness probaly is best obtained by having close friends, a gf/wife, and believing that you have some great purpose, like being in the good graces of the ALL MIGHTY. Heck, I should throw in a family. I guess the whole Jesus making us better is true because it gives our lives special meaning and who knows, maybe even a geniune connection to that which controls the universe.

In a different reply, niels says, "Even though it's all nature, sociology, psychology. Or maybe it proves that the world does suck and we should let everything go and live for God. But our feelings just won't go away, our needs are part of our nature and maybe some things are just too strong to fight off"

I wonder about all that. Are we just complex animals? Should we just realize that this world sucks and the only path to happiness is GOD? I am still wondering. I'm leaning towards God has something to do with all of this. However, some of the stuff I believe goes against what is taught in the christian bible. I'm not sure how to reconsile all this. I haven't searched for answers the way I should. One of these days, I got to get out there and decide. But I don't think I could ever rule out God. The main thing would be to what extent I follow religon.

Well, I gtg. I'll address others later