Well, here I am, back from the fellowship thingy. All in all, it was ok. Ate some Ice cream, drank some soda, played some games. It was the inbetween time that sucked. Yup, why, well, its because I don't socialize very well. Guess I just don't know how. I'm good at one-on-one situation, or in a car with a few people situations, but not party situations. I just don't know what to talk about, usually, I use sports. This time, its a bunch of christian people, sports doesn't seem to be on anyones mind. They are good at like bible verses and talk about stuff they did together. THe person I came with is 45 and on his own talking. The girls all seem to have boyfriends. The guys all seem so caught up into themselves.

Geez, if I didn't stick around for the games, the the fellowship would've sucked. I don't think I would go back if no games. Games were too ockward to explain. Were fun though. Ok, back to dwelling on the socializing thing. Its like I feel like a lil kid at a grown ups party. Every now and then someone would come and say hi to me or something, ask me to eat ice cream. WIsh I was as charismatic as some of them. Such as Crawadog, he just comes in and GRABS everyone's attention. I can't seem to be able to, even when I have some attention, I must be boring, when someone else talks, they all shift to them, start talking to them. Was like that in my group at school too, till Jeff and Donald start getting me into conversations. At the fellowship, no one seems to care if I'm in conversation or not. NOt even Rebecca. Speaking of her, not sure if she likes me or not, she sat near me during game, but then again, her friend was nearby. She doesn't even hang near me or start a conversation with me. I've tried to talk with her, not working. :( Sometimes I feel that maybe I'm not not her type. *though she is mines* I don't know, I want to find out next week from her friend if she likes me or not. I can't right out ask, but I have ways. I can't sit back on this anymore, I got to know if there is a chance or not. If not, it'll break my heart but I'll move on. NOt sure to who. I know this sounds completly corny, but I feel this specialness from her. THis odd feeling of just connection. I don't know how to explain. I've liked alot of girls, but something diff about her, maybe nothing, just I feel something. ANyway, I'm rambling. IS all