Wow! Is all I can say. Last night was a trip! So I'm dreaming at night time. Is a dream about me with big bro driving in a car. *he's driving fast* Its foggy and he eventually slows down, leaves me at area then takes off. I'm in this area at I'm unfamiliar with, its dark and just weird. As I'm walking I'm realizing I'm lost. Gets really dark. I start to think about how lonely I am. HOw the dark is scaring me. How I want to be found. THEN, out of nowhere I'm like thrusted be wide awake.

I'm looking around, I'm like really scared cause I was in midst of dreaming and now wide awake. Also, had this feeling. One that I haven't had in Years. was this really pleasant feeling. *yet I was a lil scared by it* So I start praying. Then I ask for forgiveness of my sins. *I do that when I feel like I'm gonna die* Then I'm Dead serious, was like a calmness went over me. I looked around, said aloud, GOd what is going on? Instantly thought came in my mind that said maybe its God. *small doubt said maybe your pills or something, but no, I had this feeling before pills, way back when* After which I start just confessing sins and stuff. Was talking to him. I know I was. Was different from when I usually pray where I pray then kinda think about stuff. Was GOd. I could tell by the way I started thinking.

Was very interesting. Was about how I keep saying I want love and comfort. How I keep turning everywhere except the place I should. HE pointed out how I look for a girlfriend, friends,music, online people to supplement this. Just lots of things where he pointed out my TRUE motives. Was odd, like whenever I started to try to kinda lie about stuff in which I tend to lie about I was called out on it immediately. Hard to explain what I mean, but trust me, I lie to myself alot. SOmetimes I try that nonsense on God. He wasn't having it. After I was done I felt great. Had sense at that moment what it would be like to be the type of christian I aspire to be in future. Also, I know what I have to do, long as I turn to God and now that I my lil doubt about him has completly left me *kaliko can attest to that* I feel I can trust him. Well, I got to go. Thanks all for all your prayers. I truely appreciate you taking your time with GOd to talk about just me. :) that is all