The last few days had been ok till about late last night. That is when I was online with *who else* Michelle. Had me puzzled over the following,
hey is good to come to ur place..i just remember lol
besttofriends (12:39:59 AM): hehehe
taz_want_food (12:40:13 AM): ?
besttofriends (12:40:36 AM): u dont remember anything : ```(
besttofriends (12:40:55 AM): arrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
taz_want_food (12:41:00 AM): sorrrrry
besttofriends (12:41:06 AM): well think
besttofriends (12:41:07 AM): THINK

After awhile of me not remembering, I get very frustrated and get offline. I eventually call her but she is in the bathroom. I decide to go to sleep.

I wake up in the morning REALLY tired and then go to my sociology class. I get there and the professor looks at me oddly. She then asks me about my take home exam and why i didn't turn it in. I'm thinking, OMG, I didn't turn it in. SHe says, You know that's an automatic F and you can't make up, besides you aren't doing that good in here. I'm like crap. So then she leaves the room as some person comes in for teacher evauluation, has us fill out this form. I could barely write while thinking of the F. I go outside and talk to her. She advises me to withdraw. I couldn't take it. I dunno why, i just couldn't, I mumbled ok and walked off. I then couldn't help but cry. Felt like I was a total failure, failing a class that's part of my major. It was one of my most intense crys ever too. I couldn't even believe it, I couldn't control it. I barely could breath while trying to hold it in. I go and crash on the couch in the student center. Mary and ALisha are at the tables, dont even acknowledge me. April is at another couch, she just continues too read. At that moment, I just balled my eyes out. Was crazy. I got more sad because no one wanted to talk to me. SO after awhile of waiting for someone to walk up and talk to me, I clean face up and go to phone booth.

I try to call Michelle. Stupid phones wouldn't dial long distance. OMG, I was so MAD at that. I kept trying every phone i seen, and to no avail. Eventually DOnald sees me and I really don't wanna see him. I wanted to talk on the phone. He comes up all cheery like, HEY TINO, HOW"S IT GOING! I tell him I need someone with a cell so i can call Michelle to give her the number to one of the pay phones. He's confused. Eventually after giving up, I go back to student center. I go up to April and ask her why she never talks. She said she was sick,though when everyone else came by, it mysteriously went away. Anyways.

Jeff came by. He had a cell phone, though by then I had just given up. He seen the look on my face and asked what was wrong. I tell him outside and then he kinda mocks me. He's like, Is Mr. Smarty pants mad because he messed up in his class. I tell him to cut that $#!T out. He then tells me that he failed music class and he knew what i was going through. I then go on couch and sit there and Jeff has this thing to go to with a counseler. I sit there and Rebecca comes out of nowhere. She ask how am I. I flat out tell her that i am having a bad day and I messed up in my class. She then goes on about trusting the lord and not worrying of the things of this world, for they are passing by. I say, "true but I want to pass class so I don't end up working at McDonald's." She then refers me more to the lord. At that point, I wanted real sympathy, not religous talk. I told her, "that's all good but I still feel bad" SHe then tells me that I need to but my feelings aside and give it all to God. At that point, I'm just about ready for her to leave. Thankfully she does. She has to study, though invites me to bible study before taking off.

Eventually EVERYONe shows up. Eliza, Rosie, April and Donald still there. Jeff walks in. SO does Brian and Richard. I'm laying on couch, still mad about class and mad that Rebecca is a one track record. Eventually, Eliza cheers me up a bit, brings me in the conversation. She tends to look out for me alot I noticed. She always trys to cheer me up and make sure i'm included and stuff. I appreciate that of her. So after awhile of everyone talking about alot of sexual things and stuff, everyone just about leaves. At the end, its just me, JEff and Donald. Jeff invites me to pizza. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, he brought me a LATE b-day card and a pack of cds. So eventually I go to Pizza place.

WHile there, we play air hockey. The rivalry between me and Jeff was VERY intense. I won best of 3, though was not easy, wasn't friendly on my part either. I really wanted to destroy him in it. Eventually we eat and then he has to go. He leaves and I hang with Donald for a bit. Eventually off to work I go.

At work, a very typical day. Ring the register, help people with leather, try to joke around and stuff. "Love" *that's her name" chit chats with me for a bit. I think she's the only one that partially clicks with me. WIth the other people, either i'm too mature for them *they are like 16* or I'm too young for them *they're like in late 30's and 40's* So I'm really alone. ALways hear a bunch of love songs there. Made me think of Michelle. Well, the good ones, the bad ones tell me about breaking up, gawd i dont' wanna go through that. I doubt that'll happen on a permanent basis unless I mess it up. I'm the one capable of it since my insecurities always seem to bother me and make us go in this argument circle that I need to break or it'll ruin us in a relationship. As friends, I think that'll always be the case. Anyways, that is all
~END~