What an interesting twist life sent me the day after my entry. Wouldn't you figure. The minute I think everything is ok is when things go a lil wacky. First there's Michelle, we're fighting again. I forget what its about as there isn't nothing major to me. I'm sure if you asked her though, she could recite it. I try not to remember those things, especially when I feel they are petty. So this time she's like "ITS OVER FOR SURE" Ok. Yeah, more stress.

So I'm walking back from work and entering my apartment complex and the row in which I live in. I see these 3 black guys. One is drinking a beer. They call out to me, "Hey, What the fuck you staring at". *I had just turned the corner* Then another said, "I ain't afraid of nobody" So I'm confused. Then one puts on a black ski mask. I'm thinking, "is this my lil brothers friend messing with me or are these guys nuts" *my lil bro has a black friend of about the same height that lives nearby* They start running towards me. I start running. At the same time, I'm looking back. They're chasing behind. I'm trying to get to my apartment and maybe get an edge by being on the stairs. So I'm running and then someone calls out "Why don't you leave my lil partner alone" They look back.

Its my mom's friend's boyfriend. He is also black, but alot bigger than him. He stands around 6 feet and is atleast 250 somewhat pounds. He says to them, "Leave him alone, he ain't done nothing. He's a sqaure man" So they say, "I ain't afraid of nothing. I'm from the P." *implying he's from Oak Park, the bad area I used to live in* He says, "So am I and I got family from the bay. You better take your shit somewhere else" They walk away saying stuff.

I'm up my stairs and thanking him. He said no problem. So I go in my house all tripped out because these guys almost jumped me and Michelle starts her trip with me. I say, "just leave me alone, you know what happened". She heard me tell my mom when I got in the door. So yeah, I went back and thanked him a few more times. Later, he told my mom that he wouldn't have got involved if he wasn't friends with her. So while that's going on, he also talks about how they were kicking at people's windows and yelling through the windows. Just after he said that, 2 patrol cars pulled up. They went to talk to a resident and then went to thier cars. They immediately let up thier cars. I found out that they got caught.

Usually I'm not happy something bad happens to people but I was glad they were going to get in trouble for something.

At the same time as that, there was a notice from the landlord saying there would be an annual inspection the next day. With house being trashy, we had to franticly clean. That was crazy. Then me and Michelle argued a lil more and she got me so mad that I almost hit her. Then, I pulled back and cryed a lil on the couch. I just very upest when people mess with me on purpose as a form of revenge. It is my hot button. Almost nothing else can get to me but if you say, won't let me sleep by throwing stuff at me, then yeah, I get upset. I thought very seriously about breaking up with her as she thought the same.

I love her and know she has a lot of stress in her life. Her life is harsh and she doesn't enjoy it. I don't that much either but I'm ok with it. Its like, ok tino, what do we want here. Does the positive outweigh the negative? I know who she is inside. I have a very hard time discarding people. I know she isn't a bad person. She has a lot of past hurt and hasn't resolved many issues. And then those things affect our relationship and I know it doesn't have to be this way. We don't have to have an explosive fight over not writing something down in bank register. I dunno, I just can't find it in me to take it serious even though she does. Its like I think the potential of the bank robbing us isn't worth the worrying. I dunno.... In my head, I have lost a lot of patience waiting for development to occur in her. I know I have to change a few things too. I just feel ok with myself now. Thus, I'm not receptive to much change. Its like I want to scream to her, "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO BE OK WITH
LIFE" Its not like she's tryint to make me a better person and I'm resisiting.
I just hate being tedious about everything. So yeah..........long story short, we're ok again but I wonder when she'll explode next and when I say, "I love you but I have to be without you" Cuz I'll always love her, just there is a chance that I won't be with her.