Here I am once again writing even though I don't have anything in particular to write about. I guess I feel real odd. On one hand, I feel that I've been cheated out of a better life. Us humans create our own hellish way of interacting and protecting ourselves. Yet, on the other hand, I feel just fine. I think that I have overcame a lot despite the odds. *statistically, there aren't many poor hispanic males in college or making much* So if you were to ask me how I felt about life, I'd say I felt ambivalent about it. I still go back and forth on wheather there is a purpose for life or not. I think that affects how I feel. I thought I could just tell myself there was purpose and that would be good enough. But I just think were some sort of advanced molecues. Its those stupid biology courses that fuck with my head man. Either scientists are on to something OR the "spiritual" people are. Someone is lying and delusional. I suppose this bothers me because I indentify myself with both groups. I also believe that they can't coexist.

Why can't they coexist? Science shows that our lifespans have only increased. *so?* You ever read the bible. If you do, I'd like you to turn to Genesis 5:27. If you seen that Methusala was 969 years old and yes, you read that right. Someone may say it wasn't literal. But by reducing Methusala's age, you reduce other ages and thus indicate that some of the characters in the bible had children when they were 5. And there is no one arguing that this was possible.

Then there's science. They're no better. They indicate that chemicals coming into contact with high energy sources that caused them to decide to make amino acids. Even though they didn't need amino acids or proteins, the chemicals just got it and those chemicals started being aware of other chemicals and decided to create their own upbringing as things that could make decisions. Where'd all the inital hydrogen and helium come from. And they just decided to blow up spontantoesly?!

What about christian scientists? If you actually look at the real arguments instead of hearing it second hand from a preacher, you see that they do use scientific ideas like using the "theory" of a gentic bottleneck to explain how the gene for longevity got lost. Sounds almost scientific. But I suppose this theorist didn't anticipate that we would break the human genome and be able to look at all the dormant genes in our DNA.

You know, I think there is a market for a book like the Lee Strobel ones I got from kaliko, except it'd be the Case for AND against God, Faith, Jesus. I'd interview BOTH theists and critics. Or just to be more controversal, I could just make it the case against such things. Though I wouldn't want to be as biased as all the authors I have read thus far. Hmm.......anyway, I'm way offtrack. I'm still trying to find out the Truth. *sigh* Though if I ever do decide to rededicate myself to "God", then I'd have to give major props to you guys, especially kaliko, because you guys' comments play in my head. Though you guys' probaly don't sound like I think you do. I know I was off when I thought of christy's voice and then I talked to her over the phone. :D