What an interesting, if not tiring day it has been for me. Had to run around my new college all day. *oh yeah, didn't tell you I transfered* For the sake of being, I'll refer to this one as uni and my old one as college. If I transfer again, who knows what it'll be called. As for that title, I'll get to that in a minute. First things first.

So today, I wake up around 6AM to be at the uni at 8. I'm tired and its cold. But I got to do what I got to do. So I arrive at 7:40 and there is already a line for admissions. I'm number 10. I look at the first person in line and its Bobby??! I talk to a counselor and fill out some papers. Talk to Bobby briefly and he is majoring in criminal justice. While talking, he talks about being transfered from his job from supervising emotionally unstable boys to unstable girls. So he talks and if you know he, you would say that he makes everything sound so intense. He talks about what you and I would refer to as uninteresting details as though something amazing has been discovered. He's alright, though him and Michelle don't mix. Its like saying fundamentalists and atheists don't mix. So anyways, I was so busy today and nervous.

After taking care of some business, I walk to get a student ID. Well, it musta been club day because every club was out there. It was hectic. And raising about all them was this giant sign waved by 2 different people proclaiming "RACISM AND SODOMY IS A SIN!" and on the reverse of this sign was a picture of Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah, seriously. And then right across from them was the Queer Straight Alliance with anti signs saying "Hate isn't a family value" in rainbow colors. So I passed once and didn't say anything. I went to eat first. Was hungry. Ate some burgers from the on-campus Burger King. I go walk back and the guys are still there. I'm thinking to myself, "These guys make people not want to be christians". So I go talk to the guys with the sign.

I start out by saying, "Why do you have to make such a negative sign? It makes all christians look bad?"

He looks at me with his sunglasses and his spikey hair saying, "Is it not our job to warn those of what thier doing is wrong. In this culture of acceptance, we have to stand up for what is right."

I say," yeah, as christians, it is our job to preach to the people about God. However, when you present a message of hate to non-christians, they say to themselves, 'that's why I don't want to be a christian, they're full of hate'. However, our God is a God of love."

He's like, "PRAISE GOD, for he is good and rightoues and full of love"

I say, "I always believed that you attract more bees with honey than vinegar"

He says, "That's generally true. But, we are to go out into the world and preach the whole Word of God. When Jesus went out to the people and told them about what's right and what's wrong." He didn't just keep to himself. That's what I'm doing. *he then tells me a story about Lazarus and something about when Jesus went to athens and insisted the people stop worshipping false idols. He gave me a couple of verses but I can't find it. I'll try to remember. The guy goes on to talk about how "as we spread the Truth, we are being persecuted like Jesus and his disiples were in his time."

I say, "Yeah we should be out there talking about consequences and stuff but I think the signs alienate people. Maybe if you had a sign that said 'repent of your sins' people might be more open to the idea of christianity. I mean, otherwise, your just like the people who say God hates fags." He immediately talks jumps in saying that he isn't a hate group like them. I say, maybe not, but you just shouldn't be sensationalizing the negative consequences. I mean, you could say 'accept Jesus or Go to Hell' but I don't think you'll win anybody.

By then, I tell him I have to go. Which, I do. So from there I go to the class I was waiting for all day and it was cancelled for the day. And its just a once a week class. I guess I'll have to wait until next Monday for it. Just hoping I get added to atleast 1 class. I shouldn't have waited till the last second. Plus, now I got to make sure finacial aid switchs ok and everything is still pending with them. So I'm glad the stressful part is over today.

Well, here I am at the college. Waiting for Michelle. Just waiting and thinking. Things like the sign make me again wonder about my standing in christianity. I mean, there is a couple more things he said, like how God isn't always nice and he sends us to hell and destroyed the city of Sodom.

The more I think about christianity, the more I want to stay away from its members. I like the concepts, atleast the way I view them. God is love. We are sinful and are saved if we believe in Jesus. Hell is a place not so much out of punishment, but as tough form of love. People who rebel against God wouldn't want to be in a place where the center focus is God. Most of the people in hell are people who have hurt a lot of people in a lot of different ways and rejected a higher calling. For every action, the is a consequence. That's my understanding of things going on. Though a fraction of me questions whether its just a form of culture indoctrinated in me. I risk being delusional but the benefit is happiness. I just can't stand to the thought that this is it and when someone like my grandma died, she just changed into a different form of molecues. Somehow, however illogical, I can't help but think she is there watching me as I type this.