Well, here i am again. A bit better than yesterday. NO crazy symptoms right now. *didn't take the dumb meds* Will talk to my doc about them, though last time she brushed them off. Anyways, I'm here feeling lots of empty in my stomach. What is this feeling? Never had it before, its like I'm hungry but when I eat doesn't go away. I mean, physically what is going on. I know someone will say, oh, its just emotional. Is it? I mean, why would I feel something in stomach region if its emotional. RIGHT? Ain't like i'm feeling anything elsewhere. *oh wait i am, but not like this* I guess I shouldn't say I never had feeling, always was there in a sense, but today its like grabbed my attention. seriously I dont' know what it is, may ask an online buddy.

Other than that, today is um, ok. Same ol ugly house though. maybe one day I will write some details. Just I don't trust this internet with all them things cause someone may just try something. Just realize I'm poor. ALl i'm gonna say on that. Oh, Should write about last night. I had long chat with nicole. *waves* After a few hours of talking made me feel better which I appreciate. After that chat, I stayed up and was just thinking why people don't act the way online people do. Feel asleep bout 5 in the morning. Wow that's late. Actually another thought was in my mind, seeing a psychiatrist. I dont know, I don't trust them. I know people going for psychology major. THey dont seem like they are all that special. In fact, I feel smarter than them. THey are smart and have some skills, but only thing them classes teach is to manipulate people using words. *i'm in one right now so I know* They just study certain behaviors and how to modify them. I guess on the inside i feel that I'm not weak. To me, mostly weak people go there. Besides, I think my stress is justifed and I think i can overcome without intervention. I know what I have to do, all I got to do is do it. Only reason I would maybe have to go is to get maybe an anti-depressant cause I feel the pills I'm taking are lower my seritone and dopamine levels. Also, I got God. He will help me through. Ok, I"m done, I got to go. Bye folks, thanks for ya concern and advice and stuff.