So much for......... | DearDiary.Net

Remember I said I had a spirtual awakening, well that was short lived. I guess its asleep again. :( THough I think as long as I keep trying to do God's will, that I can be the spirtual person I aspire to be. Ok, now about my day.

Missed history class cause I was late. Went to hang out with group. Jeff and this girl named Nina was there. Both there talking about ppl they like. Actually, Jeff is in love, Nina liked this guy. ANyways, I guess I came off as down again cause seemed they noticed. I let them no it was bout the tumor, though I didn't mention other stuff. *such as family problems* After that, Avina came, Jeff and her went to celebrate thier anniversity. Lucky them. *seriously* I wish I had an anniversity of a relationship. So then Candace comes. And Donald. DOnald just keeps up with his sports. That is all he talks about, drives me mad!!! ANyways, Basically that is what I did, listen to Donald while I sat there just really sad. Candace noticed, she has an idea of what is wrong. Though I'm the type that it takes time for me to trust people with my problems. SO little by little, they'll learn more. So I leave

While at bus stop I see Rebecca. *girl that is in bible study* We go on bus and she knows this islamic girl on bus and starts kinda preaching, but her style, I loved it, just like mines! I jumped in here and there but she had it under control.

That is all, for now, I'm going on webcam, so if you see my name on front page, I'm on, you can look at me, for all its worth. BYE

hey hon. you really have some life issues plaguing you right now. many times we don't understand what is going on in our lives, but rest assured you are not alone.

also, I wanted to mention something about your comment about your ''short-lived'' spiritual awakening.

either #1 your awakening wasn't real - or, it was just a highly emotional moment (which i doubt)

or #2 it was real, but now that the newness of your decision isn't as ''fresh'' you are letting the feelings of day to day living it out - a sense of normality - discourage you into thinking you wern't sincere/ or it was ''short-lived''

I think this is your issue here ~ faith and feeling are very seperate ~ faith is knowing you are God's even when you don't ''feel'' like you are.

perhaps your struggle isn't not being a ''good'' Christian, but rather knowing you are God's child even on the days when you aren't ''emotional'' about Him...

these are just thoughts because i have had doubts in my own relationship - focusing on me and what i was doing wrong etc...

look at Christ suffering beneath the cross and all will come into perspective. - remember - it isn't about YOU. It is about HIM.

:)

hope that helps. if not, just throw it out with the rest of my bad advice... lol. :)

have a good one hon.
@

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