Last couple days not much has gone on. I have been sleeping alot. Reason? Probaly cause haven't had hydrocortisone that I've needed in 4 days. The pharmacy hasn't been able to talk to my endocrinologist cause she is on vacation. Wouldn't even have pills ready for me tomorrow if my mom hadn't called up and nearly yelled at both pharmacy and endo receptionists. *she had got involved when she noticed I was weak and then she asked if I had taken my pills, told her not hydrocortisone* Anyways, that is that.
As for my mental well-being, been feeling up and down. Its really odd, its like my mood shifts every few hours. I can't seem to be able to maintain happy that long. I believe its cause the problems I'm trying to get over are still there. Its like, I'm trying to "move on" but how could i if the problems I face are still there. I can ignore for awhile, till I'm forced to deal with a problem. Like with the tumor for example, I usually don't focus on that unless I get bad headache, then it starts to remind me of it. Another example, I want to get out the house and take a walk, when I go outside, there are people looking at me as if I'm in a gang. I don't dress the part, but the area denotes that they stare at me like they are thinking of beating me up.
Spirtually, I'm not doing as well as I had hoped. Found myself not turning to God much. More than before, which is good, but just when I'm falling asleep, or in the shower. Its like I feel no feeling for him. Neither good or bad. that too is good that I don't just see him negative, but I don't see him positive. This book i'm reading that kaliko sent me is helping a bit, but it can't do what I need to do, have faith.
Tomorrow holds promise, Jeff don't have to do any chores and he may be able to hangout. Only thing is, he may want to hang with Avina. If so, I guess I have to let him do that, which will suck for me, but I can't tell him not to hang with her, its his girlfriend. Speaking of girls, may call Megan tomorrow. See what's up with her, maybe even catch a movie together. *AS FRIENDS* Why not as more, cause I believe that is how we both see each other at this point. Just so she don't think i'm trying to like date her, tell her to bring couple friends, maybe I bring couple friends. ANYWAYS, I'm rambling, that is all. ~END~