The thing about God, at least the Christian God, is that He is a little bit hidden. He has revealed just enough of Himself that He can be found by those who honestly look for Him. If you think about it, this kind of approach makes sense. Those who come to God are those who truly wanted to, and did so of their own free will.

In the last few years of reading your diary I have seen a lot of growth. But to be truthful, and I don't say this to be mean, you haven't ever saught God. You have been waiting for Him to come to you. Tinoz, God has already made the first few steps. His bible is there for anyone to read. You've had several people come to you and try to talk to you about Him and about how they feel about it. He's already tried to call to you like He does to everyone.

It's up to you now to decide if you will answer. What has held you back for so long is the ultimate truth you already know. And I suspect it scares you. God asks for nothing more nor less than everything of you. What He gives us is everything. All that we have and are He freely gave to us out of love. What He is trying to give to us now is out of greater love. His only son paid a price for us, so that we could one day be with Him.

Today people are so concerned about what they have, and almost always they have to have more. That need to have dominates their lives. But as I see it, if God gave me everything, how hard should it be to give it back. If I do, He's going to give me even more than I ever asked for, or that I ever had.

But the one thing He will give me is the one thing I cannot find or keep to myself. And it isn't happiness. Happiness is fleeting and conditional. No one can just be happy, there always has to be a reason for them to be happy. I want more than that, and God has offered it to me in overflowing abundance.

That something that is better than happiness? Joy.

Now this was my gushy mushy way of putting how I feel. Only you can decide what you are going to do, think, or believe, Tinoz. But while you are wondering whether God is even really there, He'll still be calling to you.

The love you seek and have always wanted, is the kind of love that chooses you, sees all that you are - the good and the bad - and loves you anyway. Only God can love that way. The only people I know who can come close to showing that kind of love to another person are those who have accepted God's love and share it freely.

We all have a decision to make. This truly is a limited time offer, only one lifetime. What I pray for people is that they take what time they have to make an informed decision. In other words, if you want to know God, look for Him.

>^..^<