Out of Order | DearDiary.Net

Argh. I'm feeling especially depressed. Need some social interaction. I mean, Michelle is awesome, but I also need outside stimulation. You'd think I'd be happier after finding out my Abnormal Psych grade. *55 out of 57* THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! The class had many low grades, yet, I was among the top. This is more along the lines of what I expect of myself. Though I knew I'd do good in this class because I have a genuine interest in disorders. *as opposed to statisical analysis* Moreover, I study disorders for fun on my free time. *yeah, I'm weird*

Besides all that, I'm still down. I think part of it is chemical. A lot of it right now is just the social element. So this will be my social element. *how pathetic in a way* Last person I talked to was Ray. That was about a week and a half ago. I had called him on Saturday and he never returned my call. Though he did email me a couple of studies. *stuff I already learned in my classes awhile ago, but I'm sure he found them fascinating* Its interesting how the same stuff that has been known keeps coming up over and over again on studies posted online. *or in the real news* If I hear one more study about the negative psychological effects of sleep deprevation......
One day I think I'll come up with a slightly modified study indicating that lack of social interaction leads to some negative outcome. Heck, maybe I'll link it to Alzeimers or weight gain.

So.....Do the rest of you guys hate Charlie Sheen doing comedy? I think some sci-fi shows are funnier than this crap. Um...........tired. PSychologically tired. need feedback. Maybe I should develop multiple personalities. That'd be fun. I mean, I am prone to be dissociative. I won't go into details, as I don't really feel like bringing up my own identity disorder. But not MPD aka DID, those personality switches seem like too much effort. I'm actually surprised I didn't develop PTSD or D.I.D. Though I did develop 3 things. 1 is depression, while the other 2 are interlinked. It really doesn't matter, as it doesn't affect my social interactions, cept maybe with Michelle. Its weird, you could know the biology, environmental contributions, and treatment and still not be able to overcome our own crap. In the end, many disorders need others to help them balance themselves out. It sucks.......I want to overcome my crap on my own, but I need others.

Ok, I'm all out. Bye.

Great job! See that will bring the average up! You know I had a mother that they said was schizophrenic and a sister who is bi-polar and a brother with bi-polar tendencies and I sometime think I see them manifested in myself. As you well know it is genetic. All of my mothers siblings were weird too. Seems to have started with my mothers father who they say would take to his bed for weeks at a time and would work like a dervish the rest of the time. They say he was a very intelligent man also and I have to say I've never known a dumb bi-polar in fact they seem to get a higher I.Q. in a manic episode??? This has never been proven but I have seen a lot of it first hand. I call it the family curse. I sure will ruin a family. especially left untreated. My brother thinks he can manage his with mind control,won't discuss it and refuses to discuss my sister. They just finally placed her on "Abilify" NOt sure that would have been my first choice with her other medical problems but I'm not her Dr. There are so many to choose from now. I constantly read all the new data on the disease. My family did make a great term paper tho lol. Got to be some pluses huh? get some rest (hugs)

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