Wow, today is like the total opposite of yesterday. Didn't start that way, went to Spanish *though I didn't want to go*, skipped History, ate lunch with Jeff. All the while being my usually gloomy self.

So day goes by pretty smooth except Jeff straight tryed to hook me up with Megan. How that happen? Well, she was talking about a date she was gonna go on when Jeff started to say, That guy isn't right for you. He's like, "what if i know someone that is right for you. Who really likes you but is really shy. What if he is different than the rest. He then starts to say, This person's number starts with 451. *my number* She is in like just shock. I turn to Jeff and ask him what the hell he's doing. *yes in front of her* So he just leaves to heat some food up. We talk, I tell her not to listen to what he said. So were talking some more when Jeff comes in and asks how things are. I tell him they are just fine. He's like, Maybe I should give you more time. So he leaves again. She tells me bout her date. He comes back and she got to go. I get mad at him. *though very secretly, I'm glad he kinda said that* He says I should just go for it, etc. I tell him i don't think she is my type *though I think she is* and were are just friends. *again, wish it was more, but its just that, a wish* Anyways, we get over that.

He takes me on his bus so I can attend his youth group. We debate stuff, actually, I just air out all my doubts. He trys to help, but I keep making excuses as to why I can't love God. Why there probaly ain't one. THen it dawned on me, maybe God is working through Jeff. There is no logic to Jeff's kindness. Why, You guys just don't know how much negativity I tell to him. How gloomy I've gotten at times. How I've dissed him as a christian and made him feel 1 inch tall. Yet there he is, trying to help. So I go over house.

While at his house, we get ready for youth group. We go, I somehow get Jeff mad. *i forgot, but he was VERY ticked at me, was legimate reason I remember* So I'm there mad that he's mad at me. I don't greet anyone and start resorting to my negative ways. So after some time, I go in bathroom with hands on my face and just sitting at the stall. Jeff comes in. He tells me that I got to rely on God for happiness. He also to stop being so pessimistic. So I kinda get frustrated and tell him its VERY hard for me to not be negative. He said, through God, that is how you do it. Then we pray. After that, felt good.

Go through youth group, is great. Jeff was awesome. Kids were happy I was there. *even had some chicks talking/staring at me* :) We end up getting ride to his house. There, I'm stuck for awhile till his friend Thomas comes over. Gives me ride. I get home. Talk some more to Jeff, help on his homework, write entry. That is all. ~END~ NO NO NO, not end. I want to thank you guys for praying, can you say answered prayer. I"m so content right now. What a change. :) THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thanks for sticking round in bad times. Hopefully I will have more "good" times. Even if I don't, hopefully good will help me see them more positive.