I am so tired. I am so sleep deprived. The 5-6 hours a day thing isn't cutting it. Yet, I'm not sleepy at night. I'm thinking subconscious stress. So I think its a physical indicator that I'm depressed. I know mentally I am, though I try not to focus on it too much. Usually, only while I write these entries do I really get down or express anything. That, and sometimes when I'm around Michelle.

I'm thinking that good is on the horizon. We found this listing for an apartment and the guy was asain. That's good because Michelle was speaking to him in Cantonese and I know how many *if not most* people favor people from thier own race. Plus, it was posted on the 8th and he still has the place available. So that could mean he has no one in mind. And the greatest part is that its right near the college. I mean stupid close. I could roll out off bed 10 minutes before class and make it in time close. And I know the college is indeed looking for tutors in English and the social sciences. So I'd be a tutor like Michelle. Just need 2 more signature.

On a different note, Michelle is really stressed out. She has been extra anxious and broke down on Wedesday. Her germaphobia increased and she hates that. Plus, the way she describes it, our relationship is similar to that of her mom and dad. *obviously not good* I guess all the stuff: school, work, being in a motel, the money situation, her family is straining the both of us.

Oh hey, I didn't write down the crazy motel in West Sac. Ok, when we left Alex's, I found this motel with a good rate and wanted to stay there. *close to the shopping center and busline* However, when we got there, it was creepy. Everyone was standing outside watching where we went. They all looked like crackheads. The first room they gave us had a small bed, a refrigerator that used a blue light, was really rusty and had a freezer that wasn't frostfree. *had layers of ice around it* There was also roachs crawling around and the bathroom looked out of order. They showed us a different room which was better, but the people there was freaking Michelle out and she wanted us to go to the other motel we stayed at last time. Luckily, Alex's dad took us there; even though it was really far.