Thu Mar 04 2004 - Trying to Change the world
Trying to Change the world
What a tough assignment. In my sociology class, we're suppose to come up with our own "critical action" project. Basically, try to find a way we can make a difference. The class is going to break up into several groups and try thier own method. *whatever we decide* I have Michelle in my class, so that's a plus. I'm not sure what exactly we're going to do. I was leaning towards homelessness, but Michelle brings up a good point that they have alot of programs already. So I'm not sure. Michelle wants to do something about health care for young adults. *especially because it affects me* There is another girl in class that was thinking of the same thing. One more person and I'm ready to do that. as for the assignment itself, our professor wants it to be something we should be able to continue after the class ends.

This assignement should be interesting. I always wanted to make my mark on this world. With the right people and strategy, this could be my ticket. For a little while I was thinking about doing what kaliko does and helping animals, though no one in the class seems like they are trying to do that. Besides that isn't my biggest priority right now. I can actually benefit from what I'm doing, instead of leaving my needs aside. As selfish as that sounds, I genuinely need to get myself help. just sitting here and hoping someone will change the way things are isn't going to manage my tumor. Anyways, that is that.

As for life in general, it is stressful. Alot of assignments being due and I know I did poorly on my statistics test. I'm so close to finishing general ed, yet, I can end up screwing myself over if I don't preform well in my classes. So much at stake, I could ruin my finacial aid situation and potentially, my college education. As for the good, me and michelle are gettting along really well now. It took awhile, but we actually worked through our differences. Usually, i have this belief that once you screwed up in a relationship, it'll never be the same. Though i guess I'm wrong.

As for me and God, things are doing ok. Though I have a ways to go. I still haven't attended church and have prayed maybe 2 out of 5 days. I still have some doubts/questions, but I'm willing to accept the flaws for now.

As for my friendships, not so good. It's more my fault probaly. I don't call anyone or email them. With my online friends, i haven't chatted to them. i haven't emailed them either. Though I this weird necessity that people contact me first before i recipricate. I don't know why i'm like this. I know i should always try to contact them. i'm not that type though. Hell, I have a bad time even keeping up with people's diaries too. And for that, all I have to do is click and read. I hate myself so much for that. I hate being a bad friend. Little by little, i have lost almost everyone, except michelle. I feel that i will never have any close friends again. college has killed my available time and I feel that even though i will end and make money, i won't be able to replace the people. .........i feel real bad now. that is all.

Comments (2)

RabbitGoddess (Legacy)
I am sure your "real" friends undertsand though. You are busy juggling things, you know?
As for us onlien folks, you email addy never worked for me so if I try to write it bounces back. So I leave messages here.

health care for young adults, or in fact any adults who don't have acces to insurance or the money for health care sounds great. I haven't been to a dentist in 11 years, and not to a doc in like 4. I've had tonislitis for like almost 3 years now on and off. HORRIBLE!
But in other countries like Canada and England, etc it is free, paid for by the government. Everything!

kaliko88 (Legacy)
It sounds like a good project. My helping animals only reaches people on a limited scale. I see some wonderful adoptions to some very lonely people. For instance the companion cat we put together with a little 10-year old girl who has cerebral palsy. Boy, talk about water-works the day that cat went home.

As for friendships, you're not the only one, bub. I'm terrible with friendships, which is why I have my hubby, one best girlfriend, and one best guyfriend. Hubby I live and work with. My best girlfriend is my church buddy, who I try to do extra things with, but our schedules are too messed up. Same thing with my best guyfriend. He's so busy looking for a new apartment and new job, it's a wonder I ever see him.

And look how I've been during my down period recently. This is the first time I've visited other diaries for what? 3-4 weeks. But that's the point about friendships.

The point is, we don't give up on them and we remain friends, even through the lean times. Believe it or not, it works. And time will come soon enough for more time together.

Never give up and always call them friend. Simple.

>^..^<
 
 
 
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