Its been another while. Since the last time I wrote, my thoughts and everything have gone full circle. *in my opinion* Thus the title, full circle. *duh* Ok, lemme start it off from the end of my last entry.

I check my comments before bed and realize kaliko has said something like," Um, tino, god isn't as far as you think" So I go lay on my bed thinking, ha, yeah right, she don't know how far I am from him. So I try to sleep and I don't. So I start like going into prayer. I'm like, "GOD, how come your not in my life? How come I ask you to make me happy yet you don't? I thought if I seeked you would show me. WELL? Then i got idea that I need to ask for forgiveness of sins. *something I do usually before talking directly to God, my own lil thing* So after that, I continue. I then get idea that maybe i need to take life at the moment as opposed to daily or weekly. If i'm having problem, ask God for help right away. At that point, I'm like ok God, I can't do it, so if your so powerful, you do it. *I know, a lil disrespectful* After that, I felt really warm and happy. I was like, huh? why do i feel like this, nothing to be happy about. THen i was like, OH!!!!! Maybe God did that. So i fall into nice sleep.

Wake up and go on campus and it actually carried on. *usually, i can't carry God on from after prayer* So anyways, I was really just happy. I was even planning on reading my bible. So I go to my classes and stuff and just there in a great mood. I then realize i have to go home to get work clothes. I end up having grandma meet me halfway. I walk back and see everyone at the usual tables. I decide to have some alone time and just go sit by myself. After some reading, I go hang for a lil while till its time to take bus for work.

I eventually go on bus and get to work. I eventually get bored again. Start to feel down again. I then decide to pray about it. I'm like, GOd, please don't let me get depressed in here again. *I'm weird, when I'm there, I get really down* So a lil after that, i feel better. I feel like, wow, it actually worked, crazy. Eventually get off work.

Go on net and chat and stuff. Not sure what else happened until Sunday. My day off. *as well as monday, atleast for this week anyways* I go to Alex's. We get along good again. I think he gets lonely cause I don't think many people visit him. Anyways, he asks me if i want to watch the Jesus movie. At first i'm like yeah. SO it starts and he tells me its 3 hours long. I'm like, OMG, that is WAY too long. NM. He then gives me a guilt trip. He puts the music from the movie on there and cuts to some of the sadder parts in the movie. I then tell him that I don't want to watch it because i'd feel like a hypocrite watching that then playing violent video games and not doing anything he'd want us to do. *he is like whatever* I then set some stuff up on his computer.

Monday comes and I'm happy i don't have to work or go to class. *both my monday classes were canceled. So i'm there and we don't do that much. Just video games and some talking. At night, ended up staying up too late and watching this sad movie called "O". After that, we stay up and talk about Eliza. Mainly him but I do agree with what he is saying cause he is right. Though makes me like a total hypocrite cause come tomorrow, i'll probaly be hanging with her. So anyways, sleep at like 4 in the morning. I end up skipping classes and calling in sick.

I am here at home and now feel like i'm away again. Which sucks. So is my family. I think they need him cause they all seem like they are having thier own issues. Vanessa been really grumpy. *could be hormones though* My mom saying she feels like the lil bouncing circle on that depression commercial. My grandma mad at my mom for still having Lorenzo still livin here. And my big bro, my goodness, lets just say I know he's worse off than me. That is all.

P.S., thanks for the advices people. You don't know how much i value them.