Wow, what a difference a few days can make. I am doing very good. Ok, lemme start with Tuesday and bring it into today.

Ok, Tuesday was interesting. Started out with me being anxious about going to the neurologist. Went to class, left, went there alone. I was down in the dumps. I had wished one of my friends would want to go with me. While on the bus, thought about alot, including the fact that Ray knows about this diary and if it was a mistake. I doubt it, when I chatted to him, he didn't sound to sure he even wanted to read it. He says he don't want to know all about me. I understand I guess. *why should he care, i hardly show him any care* ANyways, I get there and wait.

WHile there, I get asked all kinds of questions after a LONG wait. After that, I find out that my tumor is TINY! He says I probaly will never have to go in for surgery as long as I take my pills and get checked up often. I was SO happy! He does refer me to headache specialist and a ophmalogist. *eye doc* They got to make sure it doesn't interfer with vision. ANyways, I leave and treat self to a burger.

I go back on campus pretty happy. Go there so I can see Lihn at 4. I do see her after hanging with Brian. We go out for pizza and hang out there. We got along good there and stuff. Actually, felt like a couple as we joked to ourselves and agreed on points. I think Brian felt isolated. I dunno. Anyways, eventually they got class. I leave.

I get home and call him after some chatting. He says he talked to her and he says that she is considering persuing me. I'm thinking, I thought we were already persuing each other. Well, I'll clear that up Thursday. As for the chatting, it was with Eliza. Seems she has went to church and thought about things. She had a different attitude. Talking about only God can judge and stuff. Was pretty cool hearing her use the G word. :) ANyways, the day ends with me staying up late chatting to one of my newly engaged friend. He is in another country and gonna move to US. I dunno if its a good idea, but hey, who am i to judge right?

Wake up today and go to the college. Get there and see Eliza. Talk with her a bit and notice her new perspective. It's nice to see her believing God and stuff. There is a lil tension however when I tell her I won't go to the store for her and buy some rubber bands. I say, I only do stuff for my girlfriend's. She pouts but does Ayumi's hair anyways. After that, we all go our different ways. I go to Little Ceasers, get some lunch, come home.

I am here when phone rings. It's Adam from church. *the bible study one* Suppose to have dinner over his place. SO he arranges a ride here and picks me up. I get there and eat a lil. I was already full. They had chicken and mexican rice. I'm not to fond of rice, but i force self to eat. Was really nice eating there though. THey sang and had grace before the meal. All sat at the table and had manners. I kinda envyed them cause that never happened at my house, but enjoyed being a part of it. Go to bible study after hanging there for a bit.

While at the bible study *at the church, not on-campus* I listen to some about Matthew chapter 6. I just leave in middle and go to bathroom. While in there, I was starting to like trip out. I was like feeling really frustrated and sad. I dunno what came over me. I almost cryed. I just sat in the stall thinking about my christian life. I almost decided to stay in there till I decided to talk to God. I told him, "Well, if your there, prove it to me, make me feel better and let me do your will. I dunno want to, but you can make me want to. So do what you do if your really there" So I leave stall.

I go back to study with new energy. I"m not even kidding. I am focused and really feeling the chapter. When the singing comes, I sing with feeling. After, I realize what happened. He did something. Things didn't seem gloomy any more. I was able to talk to everyone without feeling like an outsider. End up deciding to go to this camping thing they are having Friday. $75, from Friday till Monday. Will be go-carts, water blobs, hiking, swimming, fellowship, nature. Just so much. Sounds REALLY COOL! Is a lil expensive, but I will pull from my account. *got to use that money sometime* Before that, Thursday afternoon, i'm going GLOW BOWLING!!! Spending the night with Adam!!!!!! Its gonna be awesome!!!!

So tomorrow I have to have my stuff ready to go. I can't wait. THough I have to talk to Lihn and see where her head is. If she doesn't want to persue, will free me to flirt with a few of the girls going to the camping. LIKE REBECCA! So either way, i don't mind. MAN, I FEEL SO HAPPY!!! WOW!!! FINALLY!!! Ok, that is all. Next entry might not be till Monday. SO later alligators and alligatets. ~END~

P.s. WIll probaly have pics tomorrow, though I dunno if i will have time to post online. DOn't even know if i will post for you guys to see. I dunno. MAybe.