So then I get to work and there are 3 more new students that I have to enroll and test. On top of that, the other students needed me too. So I get them done and some offical looking older white lady comes in and sits in the corner of the class. So I'm teaching one group of students and Casandra another. As we're teaching, someone asks her if stolen is past tense and what does it mean. She tries to explain and this lady walks up to the front, talks to her, then just takes over teaching the students. I see Casandra isn't all that happy that this lady *later finding out she's the Vice Principle* is just taking over. I'm in fear that this lady is gonna correct me too. So I tried to explain as best as I could. Luck for me, she didn't come over.

I leave work and go to the uni. I eat and then speak to Alex for over an hour about his relationship with the "cheating" Kat. I try to just convince him that she really really isn't going to change as she still has this guy on her buddy list and he lives in the same town as her and we've caught her continuing to lie. So he is still determined to wait until March to see if she comes. Though her actions indicate she don't love him. She needs him and wants him in her life. BUT, I think she also wants him AND the other guy. She wants her cake and wants to eat it too.

In the meanwhile, Alex says he wants to pretend to be in the hospital so she will want to be by his side again. Out of a lot of energy, I just agree with him. Though I told him countless time to break up because she still is lieing and still doesn't call alex much. SO yeah... I don't think I will talk to him that much about it anymore as its getting boring because I think he's determined to just stick with what he wanted to do. I think he just wants my validation for what he's doing. Fine, I'll give it to him. I just hope he will one day talk to me about my problems than just discussing his. Though I understand he isn't at or above my level so it'd be hard for him to give me advice. Not that I'm all Up on some high level or something, as I know there are alot more intelligent ppl than me. Just saying, hard to ask advice from someone who is has worse issues than me.

Went to a psych of ageing class. I didn't think there was any way I could be interested in the course. THe professor proved me wrong. He is brilliant. He talks about so many cool stuff. I would post it, but not sure you'd be as interested as me. To me, psychology gets me excited. I think I'd still study psych even if I won the lottery. I love learning about myself and how others percieve the world. I just feel the personal growth flowing through my blood.

Though the most intriguing thing I found out today was when I talked to Sam. Remember Sam? The guy who always asks about me and never discusses himself. WELL, you wouldn't believe what I found out about him. So it started regularly enough. He came up a table me and Michelle were sitting at. We talked generally and vaguely. So he asked about our jobs and lives. Meanwhile, he didn't want to say anything about his. Michelle said, "Its too bad christians are so vague and they just want to know all this info about you but never talk about themselves" I say, "I wish we could talk about something something besides classes and the weather".

So, Sam tried to be vague about having dark issues. And he had this paper that he printed from the net and made it obvious he didn't want us to see it. Didn't want to see it anyways but his saying, "I can't tell you what it's about" made me really really curious. So, he goes talk to a friend at the next table.

I go walk by the computer and see this website he's on. I go on the computer and type in exodusglobalalliance.org and watched what came up. Shock occured. Its a website about christians dealing with homosexuality. So I call Michelle over. She sees and says, "I would've never thought he was" No one would. He is a christian. He doesnt' dress one bit flamboyant. He doesn't act feminine. Obviously, you can't just judge what people are but usually there is a lil vibe. Nope, not with him. So then I'm thinking, crazy.

So I'm thinking where I should focus my advice. As a psychologist, do I tell him to accept himself or as a christian do I tell him to try to change for the better. Well, I see him and I'm still not sure. I say, "Sam, we all have things we hate about ourselves and all have things we look to overcome. When it comes down to it, we're all sinners. We all have sin. Sin is sin. Some is more socially acceptable than others. However, it is your job to try remember that God doesn't hate you and just wants what will make you happy. You got to remember the dark parts of you aren't really you but Satan trying to make you believe that you are really the dark pieces."

So he grabs a sheet of paper and writes to me "I am struggling with homosexual thoughts and fantasies." I'm startled. I am at a pause and thinking if I should psychology or more of christian psychology. I choose the latter. I pull him to the side so he could get some privacy. I tell him, "Look, I've had some pretty dark stuff too. Though the only way to overcome these parts is to have God's help. Trying to beat Satan alone is arrogant and cocky and your doomed to fail. God is the only way to be in the light" So he shows me some of what he printed out and it says something about God still loving sinners but that they must change. As sexuality is a choice. He shows me some other stuff that is available on the website above. So he says he feels relieved to get this off his shoulders. He looked as though he was about to cry. I felt pity for him. Its tough being gay and a christian as they are mutally exclusive. I got his number and will talk to him in the future.

I want to talk to him about being able to express certain parts of his personality that generally don't fit into gender roles. I think that maybe he just wants to express parts of himself he isn't suppose to be like, you know, like guys can't be sensitive or act shy. I dunno what exactly he is into, but I want to try to help him find a healthy christian way to express that which bothers him. Michelle thinks about the same. Thinks its just environmental things. We were talking about he talks about having to "keep up a role" and stuff.

I'm not 100% backing that sexual orientation is a choice, but I think there is some choice. And modern culture sorta pushes how doing very "naughty" things can be fun. Which, maybe they could be, but for people who have a deep need to go for something higher, I think its very important that they choose something that keeps them seeking the higher calling. I think once your a spiritual person and try to attempt to reject that it degrades your integrity. That's why I think its almost impossible for an atheist to understand it as they just do what makes them happy. Happiness is good, but if your number 1 happiness is knowing *or thinking* your special through God and have hope, if you reject that, it leaves you unhappy because you lost so much. Making sense or did I lose you up there? Any advice for Sam or Alex? Anything you wanna say to me? Comment already.