The fourth of July came and went with nothing special happening. Me and Michelle just hung out. I think we had a minor argument, but that's to be expected.

One thing that I think I'm now determined to do is to move to Hawaii. I mean, why not? Sacramento *CA* has nothing going on. It's so boring here. There is little nature here. The winter months suck and I think I'd be miserable if I ended up just being here. I figure, this is my life, why not just move to "paradise". I know I could transfer to the uni there. It'd be SO cool to be there. I wouldn't know anyone, but that's not much different from my standing now. As it stands, I have 1 real friend; that's Alex. And he's the type that'd he'd move there simply because I was. If not, I guess I could always visit. Then again, I'm not a good friend. Not anymore atleast. It's part of the bitterness that I feel from time to time. I mean, I feel like mankind and life in general is one big disappointment. Part of that is just to get away from the daily drag.

I could so see myself buying a small boat and just going to different Hawaiian islands and just surfing. I mean, once me and Michelle get our college degrees, we could be set. We discussed it and we'd both be happy just working part-time. Obviously, you got to be paid well to accomplish that. Thus the degrees and jobs. From there, maybe we'd sell some touristy art or something. I just see happiness there. One wonders if I'd still write entries. Maybe I'd be like sezreh and go out and just enjoy life. Maybe one day I can return to a more optimistic me. I'm so tired of being cynical and feeling like I'm holding back some rage from the idiots, er, general public, I encounter. It is now my goal to live there.

Why the sudden interest? Just websites and pics of the place. Second hand stories as well. I just think, my life can be semi-ideal. I really don't want to be bogged down with a full time job, raising kids, watching TV and spending my weekends just catching up on some sleep. I want to do things damnit. I want to be surrounded by beauty, not these ugly concrete structures that pass for buildings these days. I mean, even if I end up working full time, I want to be able to go have fun afterwards. Not the mall. UGH, God no, not the mall. I'm so sick and tired of malls. I also don't want to go to the horribly cold river. The waterfall pic I seen in Hawaii is beautiful. That's where I see myself. Its like I'm hungry for it. And hopefully, I can still help people as a psychologist or something of the like.

That's it for now. I have another entry I'm going to write. That entry will have some questions about chrisitanity, spirituality and other related stuff.

Lastly, I have changed my diary's name. It was, My Inner Soul. It is now, In Search Of TRUTH. As, that is what I'm all about right now.