Besides that, me and Michelle had a good conversation about her childhood. We turned out all the lights in the room and were just laying on the bed and talking. Nothing jaw dropping, but just a nice thing as we haven't really had great conversations in quite a while.

Talked to an old friend named Danielle. It must have been awhile ago because she's 8 months pregnant with a lil girl. As we talked, it seems we're both very busy and crap. Ofcourse, I have this lil theory that if you want to spend time with someone, you find the time. Though I don't expect too much out of friends or myself anymore. Rather find success now and get friends later. Seems those with friends become less successful. Though not always true, I know. Not that work or money is more important than friends, never, just that it happens that way. Plus, my lil darling is just a tiny bit too poessive. She's finding her way though.

I think it was yesterday we talked about how there are better personalities out there probaly for both of us. The grass is greener perhaps, but doesn't mean you'll get that greener grass. Plus it is a bitch to be looking for another. So something around those lines prompted her to say, "Are you with me because its too much effort to get another?" Good question. However, there are unique traits that I like about her that I know someone else won't have. *and vice versa* Long as a couple things continue to improve, I think its ok. As I have a hard time just getting rid of people as thier pain hurts me. Is that even healthy?

Right now I was just thinking that I live my life as though I am guranteed tomorrow. *why that thought pop in?* Like I could really die today and then I end up in either hell or some sort of dark foreverness. Technically, I shouldn't go to hell because as a christian that believes, Jesus died for my sins and thus should go to heaven. I just don't think its that easy. If I was God, I'd be like, belief is nothing when compared to actions that reflect those beliefs. I have none of those actions. I'm nice, yes, I think I am. According to me I'm nice. So what. Maybe a few commentors think I'm nice as well. *otherwise would they read my diary?* I do believe nice people *even old ones* will burn in hell for lack of actions. *given that there is a hell* I could be deluded much like those of other religions who also think they're right. I mean, if you get an atheist, a christian, and a muslim, two of them are completely wrong and lost. They think, if you ask them, they're right. They got all these lil proofs that sound right to those that think like them. I am afraid to be wrong. That'd be probaly a huge understatement. Thus I ride the fence and thus miss out anyway.

Well, Michelle is ready to eat. GTG, maybe I'll write another entry later. Or maybe I will never get the chance and you'll never know what happened to me.