Right now, nothing much is going on. Yesterday I seen Danielle. She was with Awilda. We sat together and they were talking. I didn't really say much. Only thing that was talked about were schedules. She remarked, "Wow, no wonder its ockward talking to you, your so much smarter than me". That took made me think about how some people may percieve me. I usually talk about social issues or ask people questions about themselves. However, I never really share myself. When I do, I talk about my issues as though it is no big deal. Even though some of it makes me really sad. I guess I just don't trust people. I feel like they're going to throw it in my face or gossip. I feel like if I get too into it that they'll think I'm making too much of a big deal about it. *especially around guys* I also don't want to look like I'm whining or complaining. I like to present this emotionally stable and healthy image. It's really ironic because I dispise how people hide themeselves.

It's weird how Michelle has no problem with this. She just says things like it really won't mean anything. Though somehow, I think people distance themselves from her because she does that. And that's the thing. People are quick to judge. I like positive evaluations of me. *who doesn't* But I think I'm so aware of what they could think that I stop myself from saying anything that would put me in a negative light. The funniest thing to me is that if I met someone who read my diary for years, like kaliko, I know I'd still do the same thing. I know for damn sure that I couldn't discuss some of the things that I'd normally say online. The only person/deity I could say stuff to is God. He already knows. I know that if I ask for forgiveness it's there. Though sometimes I feel like I get cocky about the whole deal. Like, I just assume he'll be ok with it. I know he wants me to change but I feel like he'll accept me all the same, eventually. Weird huh?

I guess I got to look on the bright side. I can tell her most things. Though now I watch what I say because things can be used as weapons.

Well, I got to go and get me a P.O Box, being that I have no permanent address at this time. Thinking about that and find an apartment and job. I better act soon, or else.