WOW! I have SO much to put on here. I don't know if I'm gonna put all of it here or what. I'm gonna try to put as much as possible before I get tired. Ok, here I go.

Ok, I'm going to start with Wednesday. Started with me going to the college. There, I seen Eliza, she handed me a white rose. I was VERY flattered. *I told her I seen myself as a white rose, long story* She is happy to see me since I told her that we'd go to the movies at 1. So we're in the cafeteria and here comes Jeff. He is happy to see me. *no rose, heheheh* So I hang out with him a bit, then go to class. I get out, then I see him again. We go to the nearby coffee shop.

We're there and he's telling me all these excuses as to why he didn't attend the last week and a half. I tell him that he's shooting himself in the foot and frustrating me cause I keep waiting for him to hang out and he never shows up. So we argue and argue till I just leave.

I go back to the cafeteria and hang out with the group. Later, I see Eliza. She went to a job interview. We walk around the job fair we had there and then leave. We decide to go to her place first.

Me and Eliza go there and she changes her shoes and stuff, then we go to the mall. There, we look around, then walk towards the movies. At the last minute, we decide to go to Applebee's. We eat there and go to her place.

At her place, we talk for a bit. She then notices that I have the same size shoes as her. She then starts to want to play dress up or something. I thought briefly, and I told her no. Later, we talk about some deep stuff and she then tells me I'm kinda feminine. *That was a blow to my confidence* I ask why and she tells me that just I am a "masculine feminine" meaning that I'm not fruity but my qualities such as being passive are. She then said that she seen herself as masculine actually. *ha, so did I* Anyways, we then sleep.

Thursday. I didn't have to go to school cause my classes were canceled and she didn't have to go because she doesn't have class on Thursday. So we decide to go to the faraway mall. It's a LONG couple of bus rides. Was cool though. She walked next to me and sat next to me on the bus. At some moments, it felt like we were actually together. We look around that mall and enjoy ourselves. We go eat, then go back to her place. We then decide to go to my place so I could get clothes to change into. SO we go. Pick stuff up and leave.
At her place, we talk and sleep.

Friday. Me and Eliza didn't wake up in time so we missed our classes. So we decide to go back to my place. There, we get a ride from my mom to Pizza Hut. *my mom is unemployed again, thus the free time* So we eat, go to Walmart after, buy some stuff, then go back to my place. There, Eliza spent some time with my lil sis. They got along pretty good. Not fabulous, but ok. I was glad that she spent time with my lil sis cause I think she didn't like Eliza before that. *blamed Eliza for me spending less time with her* We leave. She says,"So, are they gonna think i'm your girlfriend"? I say, "maybe, but I'm gonna tell them the truth, that your not" SHe was like oh. I then said," It is the truth, you don't see me as a boyfriend, you like them thug lookin fools" She said, "Think what you want" *not sure what to make of that. We go to her place and sleep.

TODAY. Was a more depressing day. She was mad at her dad. I just felt kinda down cause my tumor was giving me a headache. After watching some basketball *MY KINGS WON*, we go to the mall. There, we get some applications and head toward a restaurant. *felt good walking around with her in the local mall* We get into a bit before going to her half-sister's instead. We hang there for a bit with them *most of that time watching them giggle about snails* then we get a ride to another restaurant. She offers to pay. She apologizes for the fight. *i had did NOTHING wrong* We eat. She then goes deep on me. She tells me about the roots of her anger coming from the fact that she don't wanna be controlled. *started at home* Conversation turnted to her talking about childhood after I started to tell her that her home life wasn't that bad cause she could always get a boyfriend. SO she told me about when she was younger and she wrote this love letter to this older boy and how he showed everyone and clowned her. After that story, she went to the bathroom. Story was sad, even had me nearly in tears. *mainly cause I can identify with the ugly duckling story* We walk to her place while she tells me how she wants to be a model. *she's pretty, but not that fine* I then go home.

Here I am. NOt sure what to make of the last few days. Like dating but no commitment. Helped the self-esteem for awhile. Now its back down. NOt at its lowest. JUst low enough. Anyways, I'm tired and ready to finish this entry. Oh wait, got into it with Jeff tonight, better not forget that. Told him that he needs to be responsible. Long story, anyways, that is all. ~END~