Today was VERY hot (106). Yes, I'm nagging, but helps me release anger. Anyways, today was a quiet day till I woke up. First, I woke up late, so my sister was home, she was trying to get 5 bucks for book fair, but since I got her a Powerpuff Girl toy the other day, I decided not to. My little brother was trying to take over the computer.

After that, my mom got home from work. THat is when I started pressuring her to buy food, cause there wasn't any food. She told me to go to the bank and cash the food check I gave her. I didn't go cause I was hot. I yelled that I was hungry and go. She eventally sent my grandma at eight to the store. THe big deal is cause we don't have a car, and the supermarket is about a mile away. THe reason I said I need prayer was cause I gave my mom and everyone a hard time not cause I was all that hunger but cause I was hot. Also, I haven't been acting very Christian at all. I keep forgetting that be kind to others stuff. I also be having mean, evil thoughts. Like taking the some of her money and buying ice cream. I just feel that I really need prayer from someone, cause no one else is. I'm too shy, or should I say prideful to ask my fellow church people.

On to other things. TOmorrow, or should I say later, I'm going to the youth night thing, where we sing, listen to a small sermon, more singing, eat, leave. I would love to say I go to praise God and sing the songs, but I don't. I go cause I want a girlfriend. I feel like only a religous girl would understand and help me. That's another thing I need prayer for. Not the girlfriend thing, the sincerity thing. Cause the people picking me up think I go for the music. I for some reason dislike Christian music. I've been trying to like it. The people picking me up are ok, but the guy that drives isn't very sympathic. I try to reach out to him, but he just acts kinda mean. Sorta of the "I can only try to save myself" thing. I understand that, but I would like him to bring out the Christian in me. Since I go to a small church, most are old, the youth group is me and any visitors. My best friend goes to a different church now. :( I would go there, but its all black, and they don't seem to want to really talk. I'm hispanic by the way. They'll say hi and stuff, but not any deeper. The one who picks me up is the elder, and he's 48. But I feel that he wants to turn around the church, but critizes people when they screw up. THat what it is. I would rather have a person who says "Don't screw up, cause you'll make GOd sad" or something. All this anger in me, I just want it to go away. SO I ask anyone who prays, and reads this, pray for me. Well, that is all I have to say for now. I'll tell you how the youth thingy goes. Hope I meet someone, cause I feel fake going there saying it's for the music.