I haven't had a week this hectic in a long long time. So much to say. Gonna start with Michelle almost breaking up with me more than once. 3 times in 3 days in fact. Not the I'm angry kind of breakups either.

It all Saturday. She wanted me to clean to room and hang some stuff up. I stall. I do that alot in the relationship. She don't like that. She is very task orientated and she likes her stuff done immediately after it gets out her mouth. Very bad combo for a couple to have. So we argue. She is pissed because she always has to do stuff and I never volunteer. While I do DO stuff, its not the stuff she wants on her timing. She wanted(s) me to go by the way she likes things to be done. So she says she is fed up of me. She backs her stuff up. ALL of it. So I get all sad and start to cry. Not just any crying either; the mourning type of crying that is really loud and sad to listen to. I say how could you do this to me and other sad stuff. So after awhile she feels sad for me and tells me to do stuff. I do it. She is happy.

Sunday rolls around. She wakes me up at 8 in the morning to finish cleaning the room. *she likes it VERY ULTRA organized. I tell her I'm TIRED, I don't even wake up that early normally. She is pissed. I think she was also pissed because Saturday night I didn't help her with her Statistics homework. Ofcourse I couldn't because for one, that math is above mines. Two, it intimidates me. Three, it was at midnight when she asked me. That's right, she wanted me to help her with stats at midnight. No sir e, I don't think so. SO she determines that love is loving behaviors and that maybe I don't love her. She backs her bags AGAIN. This time I'm a lil less attached. I watch her pack her stuff and tell her BYE. After seeing the heartlocket and some other memorable stuff, I get sad again. I cry again. *very depressing, ain't it?* I tell her I'd do what she wants of me. She has me do stuff again and things seem ok.

Now it's Monday. She starts telling me to do even more stuff in a very demanding way. I tell her to ask me nicely and not say it in a mean way. I don't like being bossed around. She then tells me, "you can't even do one simple thing for me when I ask" So then she's upset. She starts to say that she don't love me. She then starts to pack her stuff again. I'm like this time, your REALLY out. I kept my emotions out the way and was planing how all of it was going to happen. I wanted some of my money out of our account. *yeah, we share accounts, I heard alot of criticsim over that* So we were going to do that but then I wouldn't give her shampoo and soap for a shower. *she is a very clean oriented person too* She then threatened not to give me my money. After a lil of that, I give it to her and ask if i could take a final shower with her. She says she don't care. So while in there, I try to be nice and cuddly, she didn't want any part of it. We get out. She finishs off her packing and a few tears start to build. I look at her. She looks at me. She then hugs me while I'm on the bed. We talk and then she wants me to do my laundry, put stuff in tub we got and cook lunch. It's frustrating but I do it so she can study her stat book. Also because I don't think I'm ready to detach just yet. We eventually go to college.

The thing is, I do DO alot of stuff. I do 99 percent of the cleaning of the room. SHe does 60 percent of the cooking. 80 percent of the laundry. She picked that. I accepted. I'm flexible. What I think it is with her is the stress. My mom has been talking about her more, as has lorenzo. College started and she got some rough courses. Me and her have argued more lately. She realizes that she loves and misses her family. Money issues and my declining health. *no pills, bad symptoms for me, pills are $$$* Pile on top of that the stuff she has to do. I understand. Isn't like I don't have stuff too though. Not to mention the Lorenzo situation.

The lorenzo situation is VERY serious too. Happened on Thursday I think. Me and Michelle are sleeping. It's 8 AM and Lorenzo starts to bang on my door. He tells me I need to find a job. *like I haven't been trying* So he starts to yell all kinds of crap into the room. He then kicks the door open and makes sure were listening. After that, he tells my mom that he is going to get the hose and put it in our windows. Once he said that, I was mad. So we argue. After that, he goes outside to water grass. I get the phone. He comes back in. He pages the phone and then takes it from me. I then have to use the phone. He refuses to give it to me, he tells me to go to a pay phone because I dont pay enough rent. So were arguing some more when I motion Michelle to get the tape recorder. She does and records him saying stuff like he'll kill me like the guy he did in Mexico if I try to get the phone. While that is going on, he has these stem clippers. *hard to describe, like scissors but to cut roses with, pointy tip too* So I'm arguing and he gets them out and trys to get my arm with them. I move out the way and tell Michelle it's time to leave. So I tell him I'm gonna go to the payphone. I go to the neighbor's house and call the cops. They take thier sweet time in arriving and then they knock our door. It's locked, and besides, he probaly ran when he seen who was at the door. They say they could get him for felony assault. They book the tape as evidence. They stay with me and Michelle so we can pack a few things. The neighbor is nice enough to let us shower there. We go to college and come back at night.

We were scared to go in the house so I call Rick to check the house. He checks says he's there. We go in through the backyard. We get in the house and I say the family. I ask where Lorenzo is. He is passed out; outside sleeping on the concrete. I tell my mom I wanted to call the cops but she wanted to give him a chance. *?* I argue but she don't care what I have to say. We go to sleep in fear not knowing what to expect the next day. I borrowed rick's cell phone just in case. The reason we were in fear is because he said whoever called the cops on him would get shot at and killed. So the next two days,there is tention but he leaves to hang at his friend's house. Sunday night rolls along and he breaks the radio after my mom put when calls *no offense to anyone please* "a nigger station" He's racist. I hate bigots myself. Anyways. My mom apprantly had the last straw of him and told him to move. He packs some stuff and actually leaves. He hasn't showed up so far. Though I wonder if this is the end or not. I'm still worried he'll do something. I want to call the cops but my mom will throw me out if I call them. ERRR.

That is what is going on here. Life hasn't been so grand obviously. I think I'm starting to be depressed again. Well, it's late and I gotta sleep. Thank you for your time and interest. Any thoughts or comments are always welcomed.