Ok, so I wake up and wake him up. We watch some tv, then decide to get some breakfast. We buy some waffles, syrup, cinnamon rolls and stuff. *he had sausages at home* We eat the stuff. Is good. We watch some olympics then a basketball game on tv. That was sucky game. My team lost. Actually, my mood changed as noted by Jeff. Was part the game, was part the fact that I have mood swings. *something I didn't really notice about self till Jeff pointed out to me* After game, he had to go to work, I had to go home.

I get ride to bus stop and ride bus home. While on bus, was thinking bout Jeff and what to do. Was thinking about self too. I think I have big conflict in me I got to resolve. One half of me wants to be old me. The religous guy who was quiet and followed all the rules. The other half wants to be a rebel. Someone says the hell with it and follows impulses. While that rebel sounds illogical, is fun. Has brought me happiness when I follow impulses. Being old me never brought me happiness. Anyways, There was that and I thought the rest of my day would be ok.

I get home and find lil sis is mad at me. Apprantly, she was sick. She thought I didn't care. So i apologize and take nap. I wake up and look to see what is for dinner when I find my mom's boyfriend is on our couch. I'm so mad, I just go in room and lay there angry. So I was thinking when my big bro comes in. I immediatly yell at him. He's sad though. I'm like, "WHAT IS IT!" He has tears in his eyes and says, "MOM *the name we call our grandma, we call our mom, mamma, LONG STORY* is dying." I say, "WHAT?" He says,"She came to me and told me, make sure you treat her right, ok" I can't even talk at that point. He leaves. So I'm on the bed very angry and sad. I decide to call jeff after I shoe kids out my room. *they didn't like that* He trys to help, not very effiecnt though. I was not hearing it. He said he'd pray for me and not to do anything stupid. *damn, he must really think I'm suicidal, everytime we talk he says that crap* So I get off phone and cry self to sleep. That is all. ~END~