Pragmatist
Pragmatist

El Paso - Decision time
Mon Apr 21 2003

Big surprise. Husband finds out that an old fraternity brother is at Ft Bliss. They live in town and we visit frequently. Friend and his first wife and Husband were buddies at UCLA some years ago. Friend joined the paratroopers, his wife died at the birth of their son. By the time we made connection again, Friend had remarried and the child was four years old, and the image of his father. I remember one time there was this thud! from somewhere in the house. Child had a habit of pulling out the drawers of a 6- or 8-drawer dresser, climbing up to the top of the dresser and jumping off, and yelling GERONIMO! as he was headed for the floor. Like father like son.

But I digress.

The TDY is just about up, and no new orders are coming through. So Stan parked me with our friends in town while he went back to Long Beach to see if he could promote another TDY, or wait for new orders, or whatever....

Anyway, he came back to El Paso to retrieve me and we had The Talk. I was tired of moving around. I wanted a home, a real home--not a shack in the desert or whatever we could rent for a reasonable price--and babies. So we had three choices: we could go back to Los Angeles and Stan could go back to his job as an investigator for the district attorney, we could stay in the army, or he could resign his commission and go back to school and get a teaching credential. He didn't want to go back to LA, I didn't want the army, so it was 2 or 3 years of college to finish his BA and get his teaching credential.

So, before the end of the TDY, he enrolled at Texas Western College (now University of Texas at El Paso, or UTEP). So by the time the TDY was over, he was a full time student.

Hey! and Whoopee! I'm pregnant. Oh, no! all of a sudden horrible cramps. And I'm not pregnant any more. So we take in a foster child, but that lasted for just a few months, as her mother met all the requirements of the court and the social workers, and got her child back.

But I'm pregnant again (holding our breath!), and this time it "took." Now we're out of the army, no medical insurance (some planning, right?), so I have to find a prenatal clinic that would charge what we could afford to pay. Which was precious little, as Stan got veteran's benefits to go back to school.

I got a job in the office of one of the department stores in town to bring in a little money, but by the time I was seven months gone, the store decided the liability was too great, and asked me to resign. I understood their position, but all my protestations that I would be careful, and wouldn't fall, or otherwise injure myself or my baby, they still insisted that they couldn't afford to keep me on.

In the meantime, dear husband had seen a painting that he just couldn't resist, so he put it on layaway, and paid a few dollars a month until it was paid for. I'm not going to describe the explosion that took place when he brought that picture home.

I'm about eight months pregnant, we're still living out on the desert, miles away from the hospital where I'm supposed to go to deliver. So we find a small apartment built onto the back of a home in town. It was nicely furnished, a pleasant little place, and the landlady was a dear.

La familia Rios took me as their own. Mama Rios spoke pequeno English, and I spoke pequeno Spanish, but we managed to communicate a little. I don't remember why we didn't have a car anymore--maybe Stan sold it when we moved into town--but at any rate, the eldest son left the car keys under the floor mat for us to use when Baby decided to come.

In the meantime Mama Rios got her friends and relatives together and gave me a baby shower. I was so surprised and so grateful and so moved by her kindness, I cried a little. Yeah, I get emotional. I got some beautiful handmade booties/jacket/bonnet sets, some layettes, blankets, all kinds of wonderful things. My aunt (who could stay only a few days after the birth) gave me six months of diaper service. Wow!! No Pampers then.

Anyway, the time comes, and wouldn't you know--it was midnight. I had been restless all day, but no cramps, no backache, no warning of any kind that NOW IS THE TIME. We rushed me to the hospital, all swathed in towels so as not to leave a mess in the car. I'm in full labor when someone puts me on the gurney. Since this is my first child, the doctor tells Stan it will be hours before the baby comes, so go home, get some sleep. Besides, he had final exams in the morning.

Hah! Within 45 minutes of arriving at the hospital I was a Mama! I will never forgive the doctor who delivered me. At the last moment, he knocked me out, and I was not to see my son the moment he was born. I thought we had an agreement, and I didn't ask for anaesthetic! I woke several hours later to be informed that I had a son. I will NOT forgive that doctor for taking that moment away from me.

So that's it for today. Tomorrow, the joys and travails of motherhood.

3 Comments
  • From:
    Becoming (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Apr 21 2003
    I would be soooooooooo upset with that doctor too! I had an emergency C-section after 72 hours of labor . . . and was awake during the whole process of surgery. Only drawback was I had to recover for an hour afterwards before holding her as I was in shock.

    And for them to lay you off because of your pregnancy! Hmmmmph. I'm glad there are laws now protecting women's rights in the work place.

    I wonder, do you still have the picture hubby bought? Just curious. *smile*
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Apr 21 2003
    oh gosh, what an ordeal
    why do i get the feeling that not too long ago women had very little say in a heck of a lot of arenas??????
    at least your first wasn't a horrendously drawn out labour like i hear happens for a lot of first time mothers (not that i'm any kind of expert ;)
    how bad of hubby to be putting money away towards a painting of all things too!!!

    sez
  • From:
    Ozone (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Apr 23 2003
    That "go home, she is not going to deliver before tomorrow" is very familiar to me. That happend with my first one too. My wife delivered an hour later....but luckily I did not go home.