Pragmatist
Pragmatist

Thanksgiving
Tue Nov 16 2004

I was watching 7th Heaven on TV this evening. Annie was determined to have the whole family around the table this year, and everyone had other plans. She refused to accept that she wasn't going to get her way and made life miserable for everyone. But finally she came around, had an early Thanksgiving with whatever part of the family happened to be around. And everyone was happy.

I got to thinking........

Thanksgivings were very often at my grandparents' house. All the aunts and uncles and grandkids. Sometimes Aunt E would have thanksgiving at her house, but not all the relatives came. But no matter where, the dinner was well attended and enough food for a garrison.

My first Thanksgiving away from home was miserable. I had moved to Los Angeles in June or July, had a job and lived in a rooming house. But no friends with homes who would invite me to share their joy. Didn't have enough money to go home to Idaho, but I did make a long-distance phone call. And blubbered.

By Christmastime I had a fairly serious boyfriend, but not serious enough to be invited to his parents' home for any celebration--or any reason, for that matter. But it was better by then. I'd gotten over the lonelies, and had presents from home to open.

But back to Thanksgiving.... I remember two in particular. In-laws, husband, 4 kids and a couple guests. That was the year I used the beautiful banquet sized tablecloth my mother-in-law had given me. We set up the table in the living room because it was large enough to accommodate everyone. Even though I had a "country kitchen," it still wasn't big enough. I did enjoy that.

I seldom cook a real meal for myself. It's boring. But I love cooking for company. But now, I don't have any room for a dining table.

The second Thanksgiving I remember was here in Sacramento (Carmichael, actually, but that's beside the point). There were 13 of us at the table. My sister and her daughter came from Tucson, which was wonderful. I have pictures of that day, and I surely do enjoy remembering friends and family around a table loaded with goodies.

Well, in-laws, husband, and one child have departed this life. One son has his own family in SoCal. The other son is somewhere, but not here. Sister will remain in Tucson, and her daughter is in Connecticut (wonder if she'll come home for the holiday?). Friend with whom I was sharing the apartment at the time of Thanksgiving #2 is off in the wilds, out of contact. His son is sharing a home with his mother and sister (and her baby). Another friend who was at the table is probably still around, but I have no idea where. Daughter now has her own home and two children, and is planning dinner at her place.

Daughter hasn't informed me yet, but I'm expecting a repeat of last year. She'll cook something in a kosher pot that she has put aside specifically for me, and she has dinnerware set aside specifically for me. And I'll probably go and nibble at the aperitifs and whatever veggies she cooks. It just occurred to me, as I sit here typing, that I can fix a salmon steak for myself and take it. For those of you who don't already know, I don't eat meat, including fowl.

Dang! it's tough being kosher in a non-kosher family.

My first Thanksgiving as a married woman was spent in Ada, Oklahoma. Husband was stationed at Ft Bliss. I don't recall that I cooked anything, and we probably had dinner at the O-Club.

So that's it for Memory Lane tonight.

Shalom

10 Comments
  • From:
    Yetzirah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 16 2004
    Thanksgiving is my favorite secular holiday.

    But one DOES have to be creative to get people together. I think we are having ours at my parents on Friday or Saturday. People have to drive you see. . .
    :-)
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 16 2004
    i think when i marry and have family/kids, i'll introduce thanksgiving as a family tradition

    sez
  • From:
    Dreamerbooks2003 (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 16 2004
    I so enjoyed your journey down memory lane.
    I have fond memories of my childhood 'holiday dinners.'
    I was surprised about not eating meat.. I have kosher friends who eat salted meats. Hmmmm
    So, how long were you married?
    I don't remember my first T-giving with my hubby *(1st) much! I expect I did not do a lot of cooking as my daughter was only a little over 2 months old and we lived over a pizzarea. (sp)
    Thanx for sharing
    ;-)
    Peg
  • From:
    Calantha (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 17 2004
    I think bringing the salmon is a terrific idea! I have no problem with people with special diets or special needs bringing along their own food. It's the fellowship, not the food, that is the important thing.

    Yes, I will do everything I can to stay connected. I really don't know how I'd survive without it.

    7th Heaven sure brings back some not so pleasant family memories trying to arrange things to suit everyone (impossible!) - and many fond memories as well.

    One thing we do at the holidays is light a candle and remember all those who are not able to share with us, whether living or dead. It brings them closer. We each say the names of people we are thinking of and missing as we hold hands. This started with my ex-inlaws and I have carried it over.

    Love,
    Anne
  • From:
    Calantha (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 17 2004
    LOL yes, I brought all the stuff from home. Thing is we were in clutter there because if it all, never had room, and I didn't want to leave hubby in the midst of it all. I really thought I could get it all sorted and put away using a bit of creativity and storage shelves, but it is not to be. Some of it must go. I am tired of having to move things around every time I want something. A place for everything, and everything in its place. There is no room for sentimentality here! *smile*
  • From:
    Ichandra (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 17 2004
    hi Chaya
    I really like what you said in sezs journal about being truthful to kids that they can spot a fake
    thankyou I love it what a beautiful thing to say
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 17 2004
    thanks for the thought chaya and you're right. our idea tho is not to do it so near christmas as my weekends etc are already stacking up greatly with stuff to attend so adding thanksgiving into the mix will only compound the stress. our idea is to perhaps do mid-winter christmas halfway through the year or somewhere else thats not close to any other major celebrations

  • From:
    CovertOps (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 17 2004
    Dearest Chaya,

    I do sympathize with you being kosher in a non-kosher family! I know many vegans who come from non-vegan families, and it is hard on them, too.

    Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

    Every day is Thanksgiving Day to me. Plus I don't have to persecute any indigenous peoples before I can celebrate my Thanksgiving.

    Lots of Love,
    E.L.
  • From:
    Fairywishes (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 17 2004
    I love your Memory Lane entries, keep 'em coming!

    x
    x
    x
    x
    x
    x
  • From:
    Sweetsummerbreeze (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 18 2004
    I watched that same episode of 7th Heaven. It's one of my favorit shows.