She's fortunate that she has the memory. Now I don't mean to be maudlin about this, but the fact is, I don't remember my mother. Or my father. I was raised by relatives who had good intentions, but it really isn't the same as having at least a memory.
I'm grateful for my sister, and we're close emotionally, though we live two states apart. But never mind that, in the age of Instant Messaging. We chat for a couple hours just about every day.
We have cousins, but we're not particularly close, and they live in other states, besides.
I wonder how families become so fragmented? I remember when we were kids, the whole clan would meet at the grandparents' for thanksgiving. I think occasionally one of the aunts would open her dining room, but mostly it was the grandparents. I remember the year I thought I was too big to eat with the "little kids" in the kitchen, and someone must have agreed with me because I ate in the dining room that year with the grown ups.
But back to the fragmentation. There's one cousin and his wife in Washington, but as far as I know the rest of the cousins and spouses are in Idaho. No, that's not right. There's a cousin and her husband in Las Vegas. And I don't even know if the cousins in Idaho ever get together. Isn't that pitiful? I'm closer to my friends than I am my own relatives.
I've heard it said that you can't miss what you never had, but that's not true. I don't remember my parents, and I miss them. Even after all these years, there's still that hole in the relationship-thing that's empty. I wonder frequently what it would have been like to have my own parents instead of sharing someone else's.
But, you know, I think I was a better parent for missing that in my life. I think I showed my kids a lot of physical love (one of them thought I was smothering, but that's another story). I have some things of my mother's and I treasure them. In fact, I think I'll take that sapphire ring to the jeweler and get it resized so I can wear it again.
I have pictures of both parents, and stories told by aunts and uncles, and that's enough for now.
Shalom