Pragmatist
Pragmatist

Shabbat Dilemna
Wed Nov 26 2003

In the 40s there was a popular song called "Saturday Night is the Loneliest Night of the Week."

Well, Friday night is my lonely night.

I prepare for the Sabbath meal, light my candles, daven the Prayers for Welcoming the Shabbat, then eat alone. Unless my granddaughter happens to be spending the weekened with me.

After eating a simple meal--I don't see the point in an elaborate meal for just me--I like to study the Torah portion for the week, and other study material that I've collected and saved for Sabbath study.

But there's no one to discuss the Torah portion or the other study material. I'd love to have someone who can say..."But have you looked at it this way?" Or explain something I don't understand. Or argue with me on the meaning of a certain passage. Is there such a thing as a farbrengen for two?

Anyway, the dilemna is that there's no single Jewish person within walking distance of my home. And those people I know who are within walking distance (for them)have families. And even if I were invited to someone's home for Sabbath celebration, I couldn't go because no one I know lives within *my* walking distance. And being Orthodox, Shomer Shabbat, I don't drive from sunset Friday until after sunset Saturday.

So, I'm wondering...would it seem like proselytizing (which we DON'T do) if I asked a single Gentile neighbor to share my Sabbath with me? Would she be offended if I read Torah and wanted to talk about the meaning of certain passages, or specifically how the Parsha affects my thinking?

Come to think of it, though, there are a couple of very young women who are interning at the shul. Wonder if they'd be interested?

Saturday poses a problem, too. I come home alone. Try to read, but end up falling asleep. One friend has dropped in a couple times, and it felt good to offer her the hospitality of my home. The congregation is mostly families, and they go to their own homes. I think it wouldn't be "seemly" to ask one of the single men to spend a Saturday afternoon in my home.

But I would love to have my living room known as a place of hospitality.

Any ideas, anyone?

Shalom

12 Comments
  • From:
    AQuietEvening (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 26 2003
    It is good to see someone so dedicated to keeping the Sabbath holy. If I were your neighbor I would love to come spend some time with you. I would enjoy learning more about the Torah and your traditions. (I enjoy reading them here.) Keep your eyes and heart open to recognize the right person(s) to invite.

    good luck!!

    ~QE
  • From:
    AeolianSolo (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 26 2003
    I totally agree. The worst that can happen is a "no," but I'll bet you'll get a "yes" if you ask. I personally would jump at such an opportunity. I'm sure someone you know will, too.

    --Solo
  • From:
    Ozone (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 26 2003
    I am positive that someone would love to spend the Shabat with you, Gentile or Jewish....and they would love to argue with you about the meaning of passages :)` I think that the one big block that you have to get over is the "unseemingness" of entertaining a single man. Go for it Chaya. How much trouble can you get in studying the Torah ;)
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 26 2003
    i think its a shame nobody has taken the initiative and offered themselves as company for you during sabbath. there must be somebody in your vicinity who would love to spend time with such a vibrant caring lovely lady :)

    sez
  • From:
    MagicWhiskey (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 27 2003
    I can't come up with anything darn it.
  • From:
    Thubten (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 27 2003
    Dear Chaya
    I think it would be a splendid idea to invite a gentile or intern to your Friday and Saturday activities/rituals.
    For my part, I felt very honoured to be invited along to my Jewish friends' on Friday nights, and also to other celebrations too.
    I don't go any more becuase I've been unable to stay out for too long.
    But I think of those dinners fondly, and I could see they enjoyed explaining things to me, too.
    I think it would be a wonderful gift you were offering.

    Shalom,
    Thubten
  • From:
    Yarngirl (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 27 2003
    Is it possible that there would be a young person in your area that you could even tutor?? It would be interesting to me to learn some of those things from you, I can imagine that anyone else would find it interesting as well.

    Yetzirah has a link to AQuietEvening on her 'Diaries I Read' drop menu. I think. :o)

    Julie
  • From:
    Calichef (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 27 2003
    Invite the interns AND the other people that might be alone, male or female, young or old... it makes no difference. All that is important is fellowship and ending the lonliness that is very common for singles on Shabbat. Perhaps games like a sort of Shabbat Jeopardy could be played using the weekly parsha to make up the questions. Everyone would like that, I think.

    Pretty soon I'll be able to join you for some Shabbats. Maybe the Kid will want to come, too. He's been asking me about when and if I convert should he, too. After all, he says, if your mother is Jewish, YOU are Jewish. I told him that he was grown now and if he wanted to do that he could, but that it requires study and observance. I guess he's fence sitting beside me. Anyhow... those are my ideas.

    Love,
    ~Cali
  • From:
    CovertOps (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 27 2003
    Dear Chaya,
    If my Twin Bro, Jake and myself lived nearby,
    we would be very glad if you would invite us over to read the holy book with you! We'd love to learn more about Judaism and we can have a potluck of kosher food. What a great and educational session it would be, eh Chaya?
    Lots of love,
    E.L.

    P/S: In answer to your question, my parents are rather conscientious about cleaning the house. It's just that it's a big house and there is always quite a lot to do. I'm not complaining, though.
  • From:
    Fairywishes (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Nov 27 2003

    Hi there

    I am totally ignorant about the Jewish faith but I know that if someone invited me I would be more than honoured and eager to experience how you go about your religion. So I say, go for it, invite someone...

    btw, further to your comment (and thank you for them I love getting them), netball is a sport here a bit similar to basketball, without the bouncing and a different net, predominantly played by women and it is HUGE Down Under

    *fairywishes*

  • From:
    TraumaMama (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Nov 29 2003
    I think it is a great idea to invite someover to study with. I hate the thought of you being lonely.
  • From:
    Kelpie (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Dec 01 2003
    Dear Chaya,
    I'm just catching up with your recent entries and am sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely for some company to share your Sabbath. I agree with the other commenters and think that it would be a lovely thing for you to ask others, of any faith, to spend this time in your home. I would welcome an invitation like this, to learn more about the Jewish faith and customs, if I were asked. I hope you'll feel able to ask others to join you and enjoy the hospitality of your home,
    Take care, (((big hugs))) Kelpie.