Pragmatist
Pragmatist

Austin: More Stephen
Tue May 27 2003

As I look back on my child-raising days, I realize that I didn't always follow my own rules. For example: I don't believe corporal punishment proves anything more than that I am bigger, and I can inflict pain. However....

We had a fenced back yard where Stevie could play with minimal supervision, and he had some of his favorite toys he could play with. But there were times when we would go out to the front yard.

As I mentioned in an earlier writing, our apartment faced a very busy street. There was a small lawn, then the sidewalk, then a very narrow strip of grass between the sidewalk and the curb. Then the street.

I had told Stevie not to go beyond the sidewalk, and usually he stayed close to me. We picked clover and those little yellow flowers that eventually turned into burrs. And got chigger bites.

But one day, my attention was diverted by just (it seems) a second, and Stevie had crossed the sidewalk and was almost to the curb, headed for the street. I yelled his name, and moved (almost) at the speed of light to grab him and haul him away from the street.

(And I hang my head) I whallopped his diaper clad bottom. But he never ventured beyond the sidewalk again.

Sometimes when we went downtown on the bus to meet Papa, I had a baby harness and leash that I used. Now this was a very quick child, a very inquisitive child, and I didn't dare let go of him for an instant (as above). But you should have seen the dirty looks I got from people when they saw my child being treated like an animal, for heavens sake!! Well, he was my child, and I was responsible.

Anyway, this particular day, he spotted Papa across the intersection and tried to run to him. Fortunately, I had the leash firmly in hand, and he had to wait with me until the traffic light changed. Then we went to greet Papa.

I don't care what people thought. I kept my baby safe, and I'd do the same thing again. And in fact did, with the next two children. So there!

Shalom.

7 Comments
  • From:
    Yetzirah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue May 27 2003
    After taking a walk with one of our grandaughters one day (with her little pink harness that she called her "backpack") I decided that I would have used one if I had had one when my boys were young.
    I can't count the times I had to grab some body part or clothing to keep them from doing any number of unthinking things when they were 2 or 3 years old!
    And as for the whallop on the diaper.... I think that is why God MADE bottoms. Seems to me I have felt a tap or two on my OWN from the divine presence... from time to time.... :-))))
  • From:
    Ozone (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue May 27 2003
    I am with you all the way on that. When you are responsible for a child, or a pet's safety, you must do whatever is necessary to keep them safe. I have nothing against a well placed swat on a kids bottom....ask Duke. Sometimes you just have to get their attention. There is a big difference between abuse and appropriate use of mild corporal punishment. My father did not spare the rod one iota, and today it would definately be considered abuse, but I will say that I think that I am a better person today because of it. I do understand though that times are different today, and I am not sure that we can apply that same standard with kids now.
  • From:
    CovertOps (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue May 27 2003
    You did the right thing, Chaya! There's nothing inhumane about baby harnesses and leashes. It's not different from indigenous peoples carrying their babies on their backs all day long -- the object is the same. To keep the child safe and stop him from straying. Personally, I'm not against spanking. Where I differ from Asian parents, however (although I am not one yet), is that I believe spanking and hitting should only be used to get the message across in cases of serious misbehavior, not for poor academic performance (Yes, I've had friends in school beaten black-and-blue for not getting straight As). And I would never, ever humiliate a child. That's the quickest way of making an enemy out of a child. I've babysitted for friends before and kids love me because I respect them and take their views and feelings seriously.
    I can imagine you and Stevie in the front yard and I like the idea! Growing up in Austin must have been interesting!
    Love,
    E.L.
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue May 27 2003
    neither am i against properly administered smacking. spare the rod, spoil the child and all that
    as for using a leash on your baby, that sounds like a whole lotta smartness ta me!
    thanks for letting me know these dim lights won't injure my eyes, i was beginning to wonder! i still think i'd better upgrade to an 11 watt one at the end of the week though
    all the best

    sez
  • From:
    Calichef (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed May 28 2003
    I, too, was appropriately spanked, as was my son. We made an agreement between ourselves when he was in third grade that I wouldn't spank anymore, as he was capable of reason. The first six months or so he took a few liberties with our agreement, and he learned in quick fashion that if he could do it, so could I. I don't think he's been spanked since.
    As for the harness issue, I had one for him, and used it often. I was also harnessed as a toddler, and I would reccomend it for any child, especially in high-traffic situations like busy streets, fairs, and amusement parks. Expect to get the fish eye from ignorant people, though.
    ~Cali
  • From:
    Ozone (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri May 30 2003
    RYLC: The flowers in today's entry are the flowers of the Shower Tree. There are many hybreds of that tree so I think that this one is a cross between the Rainbow Shower, and the Golden Shower. The grow all over here, almost like weeds.
  • From:
    Bookworm (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri May 30 2003
    Yes, you sound like a typical mum. ;-)

    I usually do mention whatever book I might happen to be reading in my DD, so perhaps check in on me at different times to see what I have my nose buried in.

    Yes, the pregnancy I mentioned is of my daughter, soon to be 15. ;-)