franny
bananafish

where is my mind...
Sun Aug 18 2024

"with your feet on the air and your head on the ground" pixies

i have lost myself. i only realize it when i hear a song i haven't heard in a long time. and i remember who i was back then...

i am hard. i walk the littered blocks, past the thin strays and dog shit. past the always wanting hands for the dollar and a fix. and i want to not be.

i am breaking. over the bad blood, and fat bully. ever increasing age and grey hairs, muscle mass loss, and increasing palpitations.

~~~

i've left pieces all over the fucken place - back in philly, in brooklyn, and up north. there are atoms of me in florence and husavik, barcelona and inverness. they are roaming the streets of paris and amsterdam, stratford upon avon and avila.

and that girl was free - sitting in silent moments nestled in sunshine and foliage, hanging on in the rocking boat waiting for tail fins and getting lost in endless sea, riding through the canals under a full moon, wine glass in hand, light breeze saying hello to my face...

i am not me anymore. and this isn't evolution. i've snapped back like a turtle retreats into its shell...

i don't know who you are girl. don't know...








4 Comments
  • From:
    D'vorahDavida
    On:
    Mon Aug 19 2024
    Sometimes it feels like we have lived many lifetimes. I feel that myself. Though in this latest iteration, I'm trying to look forward to whatever is out there.... more on my terms. It's not easy. But I'm looking in unexpected places. The old ones have closed up shop so to speak.
  • From:
    Salamander
    On:
    Mon Aug 26 2024
    I honestly wish Life were about discovering yourself and then proceeding from there, but it seems like it is a constant process of rebirth and rediscovery. Never seeming to arrive, but just getting the intended destination changed before you even get there. Hang in there.
  • From:
    Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
    On:
    Sat Sep 07 2024
    Hang in there! I feel like you a lot. I am always reminded of things of so long ago with a song or two, too. Keep on doing your best
  • From:
    DancingButterfly
    On:
    Sat Sep 28 2024
    Life sure has roughed us up over the last 20 years!