Yesterday was chemo treatment number two for little f. Ultrasound guided needle and electrophoresis confirmed multiple myeloma. First chemo - her pcv was17% so she needed a transfusion- went up to 27%. She was given chemo and an injection of darbopoetin. PCV yesterday was 40% but her glucose was over 300 and her TP was still high. Globulin decreased by one point.

My job sucks, I’m slowly sinking. The world troubles are depressing and I’m just tired. Couldn’t get to moms to put up her Christmas tree. 8 siblings and I’m the only one who finds the time to put the tree up because she loves the lights. same thing with new years- I’m the only one who spends eve and day with her. This time, I could only schedule chemo 3 for New Year’s Eve because work has me working the entire weekend so I couldn’t schedule the appt for sunday. Thank god onco offers Sunday apps though - I wouldn’t be able to do chemo for her otherwise.

I don’t belong in this world. I trust too much and get taken advantage of. I keep hoping that people do the right thing, are fair with scheduling at work etc but they always disappoint.