i watch the news and feel guilty for having complained about having a bad day. how can you measure A/V equipment malfunctions to child abuse? or war? poverty?
i'm ashamed of myself. the news always knocks me down a few levels. points my eyes to what really matters. sometimes i think i just numb myself. easier that way. sometimes i'm wide open and i feel the punches coming...

every now and then i see this little ghost of a person busy with cement and bricks. stacking and building, muttering "noone is ever gonna get close". it wasn't him or her, wasn't them. just me. nothing as solid as a brick wall. keeps me in tight, keeps you out too. and i'm wondering how many more ghosts there are out there, stacking and building, never looking up or out. never thinking about windows and views...

it's only 7:04 pm and i feel i've been here too long.