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franny
bananafish

enough already
Sun Aug 05 2001

been reading emails that i have exchanged with a friend i never would have thought would become a friend. i've kept all of them and re-read them whenever i need a reality check. and the honest to god's truth is that i've romaticized someone that was just plain poison to me. i'm glad i kept those emails. i'm glad i have proof that it's not all in my head, that there really was mostly negativity in the entire affair. it kind of feels good not to feel like i have to worry or care anymore. she has no idea how much she's helped me, how much she still does every time i read her descriptions, her experience.
i have to wonder though, how much crap comes out of his mouth to any woman that will listen. all the lies. even when i blew holes in them, denial is a crappy state of mind to live in...but deny them, he did.
God, what a fool i was.
thanks A, we seem to be the only ones to know something of the truth because we shared and compared notes. i pity the next one...
6 Comments
  • From:
    Monstergirl (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 05 2001
    whatcha shopping for?

    hey...I know you like plants....I keep a 'Diablo' pepper plant on my stove top. (and 'sweet myrtle').....always keep the light above the stove on for the plant.

    The Diablo has been with me for about 2 years...and I've even made it into a topiary.

    It first flowers (light purple) then the pepper appears (deep purple) then the peppers turn deep deep red. This goes on all year. In the summer time I put them outside in the sunshine for a spell.

    ; )

  • From:
    Slipperman (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 06 2001
    ^5 to a. it's good to have an objective dissenter.
  • From:
    Monstergirl (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 06 2001
    what happened?..
  • From:
    Monstergirl (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 06 2001
    nix the above...franny....I shouldn't ask that!!
  • From:
    Franny (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 06 2001
    it's alright Monstergirl! i'm feeling pretty good today. he's fading fast.
  • From:
    TZippy (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 06 2001
    Ya know, romanticizing someone/something just means that you still have the power to dream and to believe. I did very little along the way for you. When you were ready, you took off the carnival glasses and saw for yourself~

    Feel strong, feel proud, and feel lucky.
    A.