i'm already freaking out over my 44th birthday...and it's still a few months away.
we're all running out of time, aren't we? this is a frightening thought.
~~~
and all of those memories are fading. they are slipping through my fingers and slowly falling away. nothing that's full of beauty can be pinned down. you can't hold on to gorgeous piano notes, they just float through you to go somewhere else. you can't hold on to a perfect day, filled with sunshine, smiles, and contentedness...
i miss you and i miss you and still, i don't know who you are today. don't know where you are or what you do. how you fill your days, what you ate last, what you're reading or writing about, what you feel about this crazy world...
~~~
it's grey today. it's been raining for the past few days. i've been sleeping alot. i'm sure it's the after effects of the massage. sometimes, i'm full of dreams so real, i try not to wake up. sometimes, i'm full of dreams so real, all i want to do is wake up.
~~~
i need a change. what that is, i do not know...