this is an email i wrote this morning:
it's not just the crap online
it's school, work, wondering how Mom will get along
i'm worried for my job, how i'll be able to do my practicums
i'm worried about tuition and i'm worried about learning how to drive.
the last thing i need is to not be able to write how i feel because of harassment (blatant and subtle).
nevermind how i feel now that my dad is gone. i feel a little bit
empty, like i'm walking around with this hole, i feel a little bit more
alone in the world. i'll never see him again. and i feel like i
can't even grieve ....online or in real life because life keeps
happening. i have to work, do school work, get through these
practicums...
when all i want to do is stop for a while. i just don't know how to do
all of this alone anymore. it's too hard.
on my way from the cafeteria with lunch: brown rice and california mix i ran into one of our workstudy students. my mouth hung open...he was on crutches and had a pin through his left knee. what happened??? all he said was that his knee is gone. he missed a month of med-school. and where did i see him before? in the library studying. he seemed optimistic, though, with being able to catch up. he's worked things out with professors, will work extra hard this summer. and all this while having to go to physical therapy.
so, i say thank You for the little smack in the head i needed. the little push to move forward and remember the real and important people and things in my life. i need to finish school no matter if i get no sleep for 12 weeks.
He will give you what you need.