the national
an absolutely awful weekend in every sense of the concept. it's cold, rainy, and work was heartbreaking. i find it difficult to think about happenings, i just don't want to go back for a while.
i heard a rumor that i was called "cold". this didn't make the weekend any more awful, it just meshed right in with the rest of the junk. what can you say or do about such a comment? i guess it's safe to say that hearing a comment like that, makes me cold. makes me shut out not only the person that said it, but everyone. why? why should i trust anyone? it doesn't seem to matter how hard i work. somehow it has become fashion to ridicule how hard i actually work. i know that what equates to being cold is actually a comment on my not:
-screwing around on facebook
-taking long cigarette breaks
-blasting loud and inappropriate music
-walking around with my cellphone in my pocket
-non-stop talking/horsing around/avoiding work chores
i don't do the above at work.
this is why i'm cold
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go figure.
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i know myself. i know who i am. i know my strengths and weaknesses. i know what i am and what i am not. so when i heard what was said, it made me angry. and then it just plain hurt my feelings and made me sad. and now? i just let it be what it is. i can not change what others think of me. and at this point, i will not waste any energy trying to.
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it's supposed to rain all week. fine by me. i'm hoping to hit the gym tonight to get rid of some of this stress. tomorrow, i may go out for a cold weather run. i've always enjoyed running in the cold. it's exhilirating. the cold also helps with the aches and pains as well. i just hope it doesn't rain, not ready for running in the rain although, running during a summer rainstorm is awesome. i just hate getting my running shoes wet.
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i put the film Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe on hold at my local library. there are currently about 200 people in front of me ;-P HA! we'll see how it goes, if my wait time expires. i've also gone and ordered a copy of Kurt Vonnegut's Welcome To The Monkey House. i'm jonesing to read Harrison Bergeron again and also the title short story. And finally, i'll continue the doom and gloom kick by reading the next installment by Ms. Pfeffer entitled, Dead and Gone another YA book that tells the story about the asteroid hitting the moon but from the perspective of a young man in NYC who then has to take care of his two younger sisters when the parents disappear.
it's funny because a friend and i had a discussion about the end of the world happenings and we both agreed that we wouldn't want to be anywhere else other than NYC. some of the country's and world's best/brightest come here to live and work. and while there is plenty of junk that resides here as well, i want to be where the general mentality is "let's just get it done now" or "let's see what we can do". i know that if such a catastrophe should happen, there will always be those who subscribe to self preservation as opposed to having a more "for the good of the community" mentality. nonetheless, NYC is where i want to be when the asteroid hits. i'm a little biased.
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i bought a box of Capt'N Crunch (crunch berries). comfort food. childhood food. back to when it was all warm and cozy and i was cushioned from life. no thinking too much. kids...animals...they just are. they live in the here and now. they run and play in the now. they are happy in the here and now. then they eat and take a nap and are ready for more.
be like the dog.
be like the cat.
be like the child.
it takes an ocean not to break
the national