and they're never really pretty. they bring more blue than red or green. they remind me of what's missing. and what's on it's way out. i try. i try to have a little hope. to feel that little bit of childish joy at the first snowfall. but time is making it tougher. gravity is pulling me down. there are some people out there i miss having in my life. there are some people i wish i'd never met. i'm headed for the holiday funk. where i'll walk numb amidst the glitter of 5th ave christmas lights, hordes of tourists, and cold navy night sky filled with stars i can't see...
sometimes i don't even know why my heart is breaking...it just does.