i'm extremely fatigued and my edges are burning out. good thing it's a holiday weekend. i've a had a good run so far and am working as hard as i've ever worked in my life.
i'm actually amazed that i've managed to keep up with bills, laundry, cat care, and other basic household chores that need to get done. i've even managed to go through a car wash (for the first time!) and get my first oil/filter change.
going to work is another story... i'm losing my patience and it's just become a great disappointment. i've grown weary of the office politics, the everyday bull. i'm done here...now it's just a waiting game i suppose.
~~~
i finally broke down and put my stereo equipment together. tv pretty much sucks. every show i like gets canceled. Joan of Arcadia getting canceled is a big surprise. a sad comment on the state of tv and radio for that matter...one of my favorite stations got flipped to yet another rap station (like philly needs another one...) no more modern alternative rock...no more radiohead or pixies or old smiths or old REM or clash or the killers, t-heads.
hence my putting the stereo equipment together...i spent the better part of saturday listening to old smiths tunes, u2's Unforgettable Fire (my second favorite album behind Achtung Baby) and old Cure tunes (the head on the door).
brought back some very strong memories. i could almost smell the shower to shower. i miss him. it's been well over 10 years. i wish i could just sit down and have a good long talk with him. it'll never happen though. i guess it's for the best.
the hardest kind of love is the kind that's felt from a long distance and that has no promise or hope of being returned. the kind of love you feel swell in your heart for someone that may as well be zillions of miles away and trillions of years gone by. funny, sometimes, it feels like he's in the next room.
i feel it, acknowlege it, let it go, and try to forget a little bit.
"this is the last day of our acquaintance
i will meet you later in somebody's office..."
sinead o'connor