franny
bananafish

my week begins with a wake and will end with a wedding. both bring up the bittersweet. and how much can a heart take? do those muscle fibers bounce back after gazing into soft dog eyes ready to die? will it keep ticking after all of the laughing and joking over a casket? do the eyes open willingly, automatically, after months of losing...

i'm beginning to feel the same. a little hollow. a little joy...for all occasions. highs and lows are too tough to manage these days. i've dumbed down, or rather taken off the edge with a little bottled fire. it pours easily into my little glass. swallows down smoothe and quiet, does its work and brings me to sleep...

i could get lost in minor details...finding the right shoes to go with that dress, finding the book of stamps and mailing out the bills...finding the spare set of car keys for the parking garage attendant...mulling over what the dinner menu will be by the ingredients i have in the fridge...

but it never really matters all that much. it never really washes away the pain waiting around the corner, the hurt slowly descending from heaven above. and still, the flowers push up through the dirt. somewhere a puppy will be born. somewhere a child takes his first step into daddy's arms...love keeps living, even after love is gone.