franny
bananafish

stars
Sat Jun 11 2005

you become so engrossed in your own little life you forget just how small you really are. little annoyances and aggravations are thorns in your side, a bump on the elbow, a plant that has crashed to the ground, a half-full tank of gas, and workers ahead traffic signs up the road...

easy.
it's easy to get lost in the busy. difficult to find the still, the stop, the deep breath...the better night's sleep.

you become a mental jumper. diving off cliffs and buildings. you hurl that little body of yours over the edge and can almost feel the freedom, the relief, with a little hint of horror that you won't be able to turn back anytime soon...

you dream yourself wings. and soar over the little cars and little minds and get a better picture of what the world really looks like, how we don't define the looks of the planet, all you can see from the stars are clouds, water, and land masses.

you find your way to lost. dive deep in the passion, around strange middle eastern sounds and feel the heat of hot sun, stinging sand, and catch a glimpse of a shadow cross.

and he's always. in the back of your mind. behind dusty closets. in heart-shaped plush pillow boxes, tucked away, to be opened and closed in silence, aurora's chariot come to hide the stars...

beauty in the tragic. a loss so magical it still haunts. i keep finding clarity, when all i need is rest and separation from thoughts of you. and you could be here and i could easily finish what i was saying...20 years ago.

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