i'm half-assed prepared for field service rotation which begins tomorrow and i'm sitting here writing this...
i just can't think anymore or do anymore. my workplace duties are becoming more demanding. i'm barely managing the bills and keeping up with cat meds... one load of laundry put me over the edge today. what do you do when you just can't anymore? i've been sleeping a little too much, but i guess that's residual from my overnight rotation this past week. it was a hellish week, professionally. and i'm dreading getting into the car to drive tomorrow morning.
i sincerely hope i get over this soon.
it seems the more i try to avoid the rat race, the more i get sucked into it...
impatience is rampant in the world today. it saps the energy out of me...this stress of having to go way beyond the speed limit, or get my groceries on the belt as quickly as i can, or walk as quickly as i can, or get my laundry out of the machines as quickly as i can...because there is an endless supply of nudges out there and they always seem to be just behind me...waiting, tapping their feet, honking their horns, or just blatantly gathering my laundry and removing it themselves...
what is all of the hurry for? really? the rush to the weekend, the rush through vacations, the rush to work or home or the store or wherever..
and so i just stopped.
i sat here yesterday and today and just stopped...thinking, planning, writing, eating, driving...
and now it's almost tomorrow, and i'll be back in the race, running on the wheel, and they'll be expectations and confrontations. i'll be pushed to think, to answer, to do-do-do.
~~~
i'm heading to bed, with articles i've printed out on my topic (guttural pouch mycosis) and i'll just read and highlight. that's about all i can manage today.
i'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
~~~
ciao. hope you all are well.