suck the marrow drain my soul,
pay your dues and your debts,
pay your respects,
everybody tells you you pay for what you get..."
dmb
today was a brilliantly shining day, lit up the numbness in my arm, mind and heart. a little dose of epi wouldn't have worked today, let between the p's and t's go flatline already, already...
how did i find myself on the brink every single breath? i've swallowed the air, that swallowed the tears, that swallowed the loneliness. it's beyond the dark now, past open your eyes and breathe, and holding it in 'til the next bus stop is fucken hard work...
i'm at the bottom of the bottom, never knew this was here. never knew the directions to God takes you through hell first. and even in the dark night or beautiful twilight...i can't claim this weariness as only happening to myself...
this is not a gorgeous video from my eye projectors, this is hard cold reality, where i see old wrinkly hands grasping a cold 1 bedroom doorknob...