~~~
so i had an entry all written and it got deleted because i pressed the esc button with the shift button...
so, here is a condensed version of what went on yesterday (friday)
i just got in at about 5:30am this morning from Mom's house. my nephew graduated high school
after a 13 hour overnight shift that ended at 8am friday morning, i got home, made breakfast, went to bed for an hour, got up, got ready to head north for the graduation.
traffic sucked.
took me 3+ hours to drive approximately 40 miles.
turns out though that i thought the graduation was earlier than it was, so i ended up having at least 45 minutes to relax.
after the ceremony, we headed back to Mom's. had dinner and ice cream cake.
fell asleep on the couch. woke up at 3am. watched Serendipity (the last 30 minutes) because i love John Cusack. got my stuff together and headed back to Brooklyn.
and here i sit.
~~~
i remember graduating high school. i was in a panic. mostly because i felt unprepared (and indeed i was) for life after high school. what would i do without the cushiness that is high school? sure, it's an awkward time, you go through lots of crap. but i managed to skip the heartache, the cattiness, the gossip, the bed hopping etc etc, because i was in my own little world, oblivious that this shit went on. i was too busy taking dance classes, doing art work, reading and listening to Bowie and the rest of the great 80's alt music... i didn't date 50 million guys or go out drinking, or do drugs, or sleep around, or have a job, or hang out with groups of people.
which, now that i think about it, was pretty darned cool.
i saved all of that shit for when i went away (like 300+ miles) to college. that's when the sex, drugs, and more rock n' roll comes in.
so, perhaps that's the panic i felt. the panic of having to deal with the simple fact that i was growing up and NOTHING, not even high school, could stop it. i hated turning 13 because i felt that i wasn't a kid anymore, and i hated graduating high school, because it cemented the fact.
hence the lost late teen years 17, 18, 19 and the dumbass 20's. lost, unsure, am i young, do i have to really be a grown up? etc etc etc.
i can only imagine the pressure those graduating students are feeling. everything is changing. the days of being able to dedicate all of your time and energy on school work and school life are over. the burden of having to work, get through college, pay bills and contemplate career choices, ticking clocks, and the deflation of the bubble that real adult life inflicts, well, it can all be a bummer.
i remember writing a letter to my favorite high school english teacher stating, "they don't warn you, they don't tell you this is how it really is"...
adulthood has it's good points:
you can live alone, with pets, with other people
you can do what you want on your free time
you don't get carded at the bar anymore (this could suck too)
you can drink out of the milk carton and have pizza for breakfast
etc, etc, etc...
my advice?
-find what you love to do and do it.
-love what you do for a living.
-have someone/something to love not related to you.
-experience beauty and nature (art, music, literature, trees, flowers, the ocean...)on a daily basis.
-give your time, energy to charity and helping others.
ciao!