time to move on..go forward, or stew in back then, i don't have the energy to even write about it. i'll have a whole helluva lot on my plate come july, june will be lazy...reading library books...anything that doesn't even remotely resemble a textbook.
i like this. i like this being alone. i like this only 50 hits in my list, this suits me just fine.
got to write it down, the big plan for july. tomorrow i'll speak with the director to see if they'll work with my new school schedule. i always prepare myself for the worst case scenario: my having to get another job.
so be it. don't have the energy to worry anymore. just want to get through it and be done.
i see myself someplace warm and lush. lots of sunshine, lots of outdoor plants. and lots of barefoot walking...
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when i was younger, i used to think that everyone was special. i was pretty idealistic in my thinking. i used to think Love was the answer, that it could heal all. rocks and stones and bumps in the road have angered me, shut me up to the outside world, but ultimately, when i sit down and really think about it, i can still say i believe everyone has something special about them, it's just that some have never had anyone tell them so, or bothered to dig for it themselves.
i always liked Seymour's idea: do it for the fat lady.
because somehow, we're all the fat lady.
so, shine your shoes.