as soon as 20 turns to 21. somehow it's always a clean slate i'm stepping into. the last 3 years have been the worst in my life.
i'm still here even though i tried really hard to not be.
and i'm tired. of the non-stop. i want stillness. quiet. smoke free air. a clutter free apartment...
for mom not to leave.
i want rest. calm. sound sleep and for the cat to beat the kidney disease.
life turns to death in a moment. one breath. eye open, then dark. i live this every day.
i want peace.
a long sleepy afternoon filled with nothing but breathing.