so, this week, i'll go through the entire list again to see if i can change some of this. i've given up on my supervisor and the director of the library, but especially my supervisor. she doesn't listen to me. she doesn't show any sort of respect. what could i do but laugh at the email i received this past friday an hour before i was to leave work???? the email stated that the address to all of our subscriptions had been changed to the new branch our institution opened in another state... so, everything is going somewhere else. do i care?
not one bit. did i know this was coming? sure did. did boss listen? nope.
not only are they going somewhere else, but some of the important subscriptions, like JAMA, New England Journal of Medicine, BMJ (British Medical Journal) have apparently been cancelled... that the publishers issued credit memos that go to my boss apparently didn't give her a clue that there was something very wrong. that i've let her know on numerous occasions that i wasn't getting any new issues and claiming them wasn't working, also was not enough of a clue to her. do i care? nope. did i know this was coming? suer did. did the boss listen? nope.
now, i was told that i would have to maintain all of the online subscriptions for the new branch in another state for the library for which a librarian was hired. has anyone checked what librarians make salary-wise these days? about 2-3 times more than what i'm making...nonetheless, this, apparently lucky, employee won't be given any username, password, or IP information. this person won't have to activate online subscriptions. of course, i don't know how the heck my boss expects me to do this since the customer number most publishers require you use to activate, come on the mailing label of the actual print copy. has she realized that these print copies are going to another state and i don't have access to them unless lucky employee librarian calls me? nope. does she care that this employee won't be able to help a student download a full text article if there is a problem at the site and said employee was not given a username or password or IP info to even check and make sure this stuff is correct? nope. do i care? nope. will this create some big problems for the new branch library, librarian, and new students? yep. do i care? hey, honey, i tried to but someone keeps putting a hand over my mouth, and tying my hands behind my back.
my search for employment that will encourage some sense of sanity continues...
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in other news, i've driven to ny and back to visit my family. it was a little scary but i'm proud of myself for doing it. i even got to drive Mom around. had a close call with a deer and her brood. all i can say is thank God it was me driving and there was noone driving behind me. i wasn't going so fast (doing the speed limit) and was able to stop and swerve out of the doe's way. she was beautiful...she left hoof scratch marks on the left side of my bumper. after she crossed and i passed, i looked in the rearview and caught the 2 little ones cross as well. Mom and I were returning from visiting Dad's gravesite. this past week, i was sitting at my desk, it was after lunch and i got a very strong feeling Dad was nearby... i said out loud that i missed him. got teary-eyed...
spoke to Mom yesterday and i told her about it and she had the same experience. she had said the same thing (in spanish though)... this stuff happens to me and Mom alot.
this past weekend, i've had two dreams with wild animals...one with a Bear and the other with a Lion.
started going to church last week. i'm beginning to realize that i left it partly because it isn't enough. i don't want to fall into the habit of just saying a prayer because i've memorized it...i want to mean what the words say. it used to bother me that some folk just pray out of habit.
it all needs to mean something or prayers are just words.
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anyhow. kitkats are fine. apartment is fine. i'm out of shape but not too worried, because i've always managed to get myself back into shape again. currently reading John Irving's "Imaginary Girlfriend"... finally saw Taxi Driver...DeNiro was gorgeous. also, watched The Piano again...been thinking about Maori tattoos. The Maori and Aborigines...awesome and wise people.
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sister moon
how bright is your soul
to light up nightsky
and awake my heart?
i saw you and you were perfect. untouched by misery or disaster. and sometimes i think you look down at the furious little ants moving this way and that, going nowhere, thinking meaningless thoughts, and forgetting to look at your steady eye. we are helpless and the God finds that endearing...