i'm tired of thinking and writing about this. the job situation in philly stinks. not sure if i'll even be able to find another full time job. i certainly don't want to stay in PA...but there is still 3 months of school left hanging over my head and if i do get another job, i'd like to find somewhere else to live because i don't feel so safe here anymore although there really is no safe place anywhere. i'm really considering Maine. spoke to my sis about what was going on. she's been very supportive. she was excited about Maine. she has been there and loved it. said the people are very very nice. all in all, if i do decide one way or the other, i can't make any plans to do anything about it until after the big race.
~~~
am very psyched. when i got home, i found my acceptance card and the handbook from NYRR (new york road runners) in the mail. :-)
one of the reasons i'm running this race (this issue came up as a thread in the Runner's World forum) is that it seems all of my life, i've always let someone or something interfere with something that was important to me so much so that i tend to drop it. i need to know that i will continue to work hard on my training despite other problems that arise in my life. i need to know that i can count on myself to not fall back to smoking or drinking when i get stressed out. (for a while there, i was running and smoking...how stupid is that?) what has helped me to stop (even though recently it was down to 1 clove cigarette a day) is visualizing the damage i'm causing to my lungs and heart. the reality check was the difficulty in breathing when i ran up hills. another reason? even more important than my body, is the damage i was causing my cat. ever since i stopped, ms. orangehead's ear problems have diminished so much so that she hardly shakes her head. i'm convinced that the problem was caused by an allergy she had with the secondhand smoke. when her ears were very bad...i was smoking half a pack. i don't like fussing with her ears but every now and then i take a quick look and they even look like they've cleared up (she was getting dark brown bumps in them). i'm ashamed to say it was my fault, but i admit it. i caused her problems.
~~~
am very psyched. when i got home, i found my acceptance card and the handbook from NYRR (new york road runners) in the mail. :-)
one of the reasons i'm running this race (this issue came up as a thread in the Runner's World forum) is that it seems all of my life, i've always let someone or something interfere with something that was important to me so much so that i tend to drop it. i need to know that i will continue to work hard on my training despite other problems that arise in my life. i need to know that i can count on myself to not fall back to smoking or drinking when i get stressed out. (for a while there, i was running and smoking...how stupid is that?) what has helped me to stop (even though recently it was down to 1 clove cigarette a day) is visualizing the damage i'm causing to my lungs and heart. the reality check was the difficulty in breathing when i ran up hills. another reason? even more important than my body, is the damage i was causing my cat. ever since i stopped, ms. orangehead's ear problems have diminished so much so that she hardly shakes her head. i'm convinced that the problem was caused by an allergy she had with the secondhand smoke. when her ears were very bad...i was smoking half a pack. i don't like fussing with her ears but every now and then i take a quick look and they even look like they've cleared up (she was getting dark brown bumps in them). i'm ashamed to say it was my fault, but i admit it. i caused her problems.
what will happen tomorrow? i don't know. i'll be 39 very soon. for my birthday, i could use a little respect from the people around me but i'll settle for honoring my own word to do what i've set out to do, stay clean, find other work, and not let others interfere with my one big plan for Nov. 7...to run.