are all in my mouth, only i don't know how
they got out dear
the shins
it was a beautiful day today. i only caught the very beginning of the blue and the sun on my way to work, and watched the tail end unfolding its dark blue...soft velvet blanket.
i think i've lost it...writing here. or maybe i'm just preoccupied with other more important and life changing stuff... i can't let another year go by without anything to show.
seems i've gone and stuffed everything on my life to-do list in one year. the hatred i hold for my job and for living in philly in general has lit the proverbial fire underneath my ass. i need out of here. i want out of here. i'm working on making my options more plentiful. yes. i drove a car this weekend.
that, my dears, is ONE MAJOR EVENT for me. i fear driving. always have.
but if i don't learn, i can't finish school, i can't pick and choose where i want to work or live. my options are limited to where public transportation can get me.
driving has been the thorn in my paw. i've ignored it, hated the thought of it, despised the thought of joining the commuting masses in their death machines.
1. i don't watch the news as much .... must stay away from the mangled proof that we all are really flesh and blood, that fearless adolescents are truly dangerous, that stop signs are there for a reason...
2. driving mantra? "i hate my job, gotta have options"
3. 2nd driving mantra? "horses and cows, man, horses and cows"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ps. i almost tossed my cookies when it came time to maneuver the vehicle around the freakin' cones...none of which were harmed, nor crushed during the filming of "franny gets her license"..
pps. the instructor is a real cutie pie...and wonderfully patient...
;-)
look out...
~~~
have begun going over animal physiology...just to refresh my memory. i've also kinda cracked the Large Animal Internal Medicine book, which also functions as weight training device for my arms when i have to carry it from one spot to another.
~~~
i've been thinking about Dad. his birthday was in November. the family had decided to donate his car to the church and so when it got emptied of the many things in the trunk, glove compartment, backseat, etc, etc... i wanted to keep all of his shopping discount cards, small prayer pamphlets, and the prayer card for travelers and drivers. i keep all of this stuff in my bag. when i get a car, it'll all go in there...in the trunk, glove compartment, backseat, etc. etc.
~~~
this is where i'm at, this is what i'm doing. i'm tying up loose ends. have cut strings off, tethers to a person i'm not anymore, someone from a year or two ago. i find myself wanting to say, "i am not yours"
~~~
my christmas cactus bloomed. a truly uplifting sight. that, and my cats sleeping safe and sound around me.