ten times or more. i keep having the dream. i keep tucking it away. keep ignoring the strange buzz of you flying like a butterfly over my head. unfinished business? closure? don't know....all i want is a cigarette and to forget.
all day. all month. all year. an entire decade. you are there. sometimes the shadow in my dreams, or blatant: tall, dark-haired, fair-skinned brooding...stoned, drunk, fucked-up...you name it.
and there was no conclusion. no ending really. maybe that's where the dreams come from. the story is looking for an ending that is right. that is clear and good. not lost in words never said, letters never sent...apologies never given. just once. i want a good ending. one where the sun sets beautifully. where there is fucken peace in the land and all of the forest creatures go off as friends... i want a hug. i want an "i'm sorry" or "i understand now". i want that knock down argument, that long intense conversation that'll leave us sweaty and tired. and i want the chance to assemble a mean play list to accompany it all. i'll even drive you home...
in the feeble and the bad db